Thursday, May 17, 2012

The End of an Era

In the last week, my MOPS group disbanded.  MOPS stands for Mothers of Preschoolers.  We had our last meeting last Friday at the church, then followed it up Tuesday with a Mom's Night Out grand finale dinner at Boulder Creek.  We just sat around yucking it up, and trying not to cry. 
And now, my heart is heavy.  I know in my head, I'll still see them around, but not monthly, not every other week, there were months that I'd get to see them every week or more, and I may see them, but not like it was.  The group has been struggling for the last couple years, and something had to change.  
But I hate change.  I'm not good at changing.  

These women have been with me since Christopher was 18 months old.  They were by my side as so many things were horrible. They were with me when he had a feeding tube, when it was horrible.  And vice versa.  They have been praying for me, bringing me food, just stopping by for hugs.  If I stop to list all the milestones that these friends have been with me for, I just cry.  

But it's a new season.  The end of an era.  Chris is in elementary school, jeez, as of tomorrow he'll be a first grader.  I have another year or two as a mother of a preschooler, but I'm not as lost as a parent as I used to be.  I have a wonderful network of friends that I can call upon for support.  Maybe I don't NEED the MOPS group anymore.  I just plain need these women.  This group had been such a Blessing to me, that I can't even begin to describe it in words.  And theoretically, we're going  to transform into just a yahoo group, a group of friends that just get together periodically.  But it won't be the same.  And it makes me sad.  
There, I said it.  It's my fault, I couldn't step up and take over, I wanted to, but I just couldn't.  I hate admitting that I can't do something that I really want to do.   And I feel guilty, and sad, and mad, and sad again, and I'm going to miss these gals so much.  

I hate change. 


Unknown said...

I too don't like change and need these women. Therefore our freezer meal group can never change.