Thursday, June 3, 2021

Long Time No Blog

I've been taking photos every day with the intention of posting them on the blog, of even getting back into blogging.  But I don't use my time for that lately.  I miss blogging.  There for a while, blogging was my therapy.  But I got away from it.  Now I need it again.  So this year, I started by taking daily photos, thinking that would prompt me back into blogging. It didn't quite work. I keep thinking I'll get back into it, but it's hard for me to find words on the hard days, and there have been a lot of those lately.  
Now the kids are home for summer break, and I couldn't sleep, so I am getting back into it.  
Let's go  with yesterday.  
It was a day of failures, but I did manage to find some joy. 
The plan was to go to the Zoo. I even registered, and picked up tickets to go first thing, well, second thing.  But Jacob objected to practically everything we told him to do to get ready in the morning. Finally, I decided to leave him.  Then he got pathetic, and begged, literally, for us to take him. It broke my heart.  But I was prepared to leave him.  Until Eric told me he had to actually leave the house for a lunch meeting.  Gasp!  I hadn't considered he would actually have to leave the house.  We've gotten so into a routine of him working from home, I never considered otherwise.  I sat in the car, Torn.  I even loaded Jacob up to take with us.  He got quiet because he finally understood he could not be allowed to fight us anymore.  But then I stared to back out, we were late, it was raining, and it just didn't feel right, because I felt like he'd just start another fight at the Zoo, and I couldn't deal with it alone. I pulled back in. But by cancelling the Zoo trip, the big boys were crushed. I hadn't considered they would be so excited. Lately whenever I ask if anyone wants to go to the zoo, they say no. This spring I went to take pictures of flowers by myself.  And our membership is going to expire, and I won't be renewing. 
I am so sick and tired of fighting. 
I have to choose my battles. 
And I've choosen to leave them at home. 

Later in the day, they found some joy snuggling with the dog on the couch. 
So that was good. I have to focus on the good moments. 

The high point of my day became when my friend Jess spontaneously showed up on my doorstep with flowers.  I was so surprised, I may have gotten a little teary. Of course, she didn't know the morning I'd had.  Or that this had been one of a string of rough days.  It was Perfect timing. 

After the kids went to bed, I took the peonies to the dining room for a little photo session. 
They stink so good, the whole room is perfumed.  

My Scarlett O'Hara Peony already bloomed and gone for the season. 
But these look different, their petals are more plentiful than mine.  
They have a more traditional peony look to them than mine do once they open up.
I love these better.  Mine is beautiful, but it's different.  These are gorgeous in their own right.

Check out that hint of dark pink. 

These really were Happy Flowers, and just what I needed.