Where are my Stretchies?

Ping. Did you hear that? It was my spine.
Today, Christopher would not sleep, actually he did for about 15 minutes, then the phone woke up, and he was crying. I think he was having gas pain, because a couple good toots and some mylicon helped immensely, but he was so fussy, that he wanted me to curl up with him. So I did. I lay down on his mattress with him at naptime, and held his hand, and patted his back every time he called out Mommy. I couldn't Get much closer to him, but he still kept calling out and reaching for me. It was reminiscent of the days when he was constipated, but he was putting out fine earlier today. Anyway, sleeping on a mattress on the floor, and I use the term sleeping loosely, was apparently Not what my spine needed. When my bladder couldn't take it anymore, I got up, and the painlight was flashing. So not cool. I made it to the fridge for Chris's cocoa, and to the couch where I didn't have to move much beyong trying to cuddle a still fussy fusspot. Luckily, it was 5 o'clock, (Chris didn't want to go to sleep, my guess is we were sleeping on the floor an hour and some change, the clock read 3:35 last time I saw it), and I called Eric to get tell him what was up, and he had already left, and was on his way home. Thank goodness.
However, Eric couldn't stay, places to go and all that, so Chris spent the evening watching TV because Mommy didn't have the energy to play. The pain isn't so bad as long as I'm not moving, or not transitioning from seated to standing, or getting up off the floor. This evening, would have been a good one to take the good drugs and go to sleep, you know, the ones I can't take because I'm pregnant. I suppose I could have called the chiropractor too, but there was familial drama and I haven't gone back this year. I should find a new one. Anyone know any TRUSTWORTHY Chiropractors in Brownsburg? But no. I'm just going to sit, suffer, and blog to you all about it. :)
I didn't even have the energy to bathe a boy. We bathe him every day, to keep happy bottoms happy. And bathtime is normally Daddy time, but I sub in when possible. Tonight...not so much. But I figure, better one day off than having to make Eric stay home all day tomorrow because I really did such a number on my back I can't be trusted alone with the boy. That's happened before too.
But I'm going to be seriously peeved if I don't feel better tomorrow evening. We've got Butler Tickets. We actually spent real money to go....with our church! Bit o'trivia, Gordon Hayward, fabulous freshman starter of our Butler Bulldogs is from Brownsburg, and attends our church. SO, the church is doing a Fellowship event to go cheer him on. I don't know how many of us there will be, but it will be a decent size group. And it will be fun. But not if I'm in miserable back pain, and either can't even attend, or am just plain miserable. I gotta be able to cheer on my Bulldogs!

The thing that really Frosts My Cookies is that aren't I supposed to be in that Happy Third Trimester Place where the stretchy hormones loosen up all my joints, and it's all good. Where are my loose joints? Where are my stretchy hormones?
Though perhaps there is no such place as Happy Third Trimester Place.

The White Stuff

Well, once again, Christopher was not destined to complete a full week of school. We got a FOOT of snow dumped on us today, the most in quite a while. The beautiful thing about this was that Daddy was able to work from home today too! So, we all took a break and ventured forth into the snow.



Daddy shows Chris how to make a snowball!



Unfortunately, Eric was certain this snow was completely the WRONG kind to make snowballs or snowman. Don't be telling me that! Especially after I told the boy We're Making a Snowman. Though he was kind of right.
Mommy was Determined to make a Snowman, even if it meant only making a giant cone shaped pile of snow, and putting a scarf on it.






This snow is MUCH Better for the making of Snow Angels. Though someone was a little weirded out by Mommy Flopping into the snow. Chris just laughed and laughed. He wanted to join me but was apprehensive, until I pushed him into the snow, then he made angels with me. And then I got stuck. I had to pull up on Eric will ALL my weight to get up. :)



Christopher's favorite part was decorating our snowman. I had him put one eye in, and then I did the other main face pieces, but he kept running back for more "stits" (sticks). They were really dried flower stems that I'd never got around to pulling this fall, we had black eyed susan eyes, arms and buttons for the "shirt" and a dried petunia tie.

My Crazy Man

My husband is a maniac! I think I may have mentioned this before. He's become addicted to running, participating in every race he can get in on.
But in this case, I'm super proud of my Maniac.

Saturday, he participated in the "Bop to the Top" a run up 37 floors to the top of the One America building, to benefit Riley Hospital for Children. As you know, Riley, is near and dear to our hearts because of Christopher.

The thing I am most proud of, is that Eric set a goal of being able to raise $1000 for the hospital. And as of this morning, he surpassed that goal! I am just so thankful to all our family and friends who leapt in to support this cause that is so near and dear to us!

http://www.firstgiving.com/willman4riley

Well, my husband did that crazy run in 6 minutes and 50 seconds!!!

He didn't even stop once! Now, he was feeling the effects of being that crazy. His lungs were burning up. And his puffer was safe and sound...in the car. He was a bit queasy too, but sounds like he didn't choose wisely, sampling an unknown protein gel pack at the bottom before his Mad Dash. Apparently, the medical folks refer to the cough that lasts a few hours as "Bopper's Cough". They say because of the dust and thin air up there, coughing is the biggest problem. Eric definitely noticed the thin air. He had to cuddle the nice soft wall there at the end, and rode the elevator down and decided that sitting would be the way to go. But he drove himself home, and his legs were still functioning by that afternoon and over the last couple days. If only the same could be said for his lungs. I think the run, combined with the cold we've all been fighting off, has been causing a bit more trouble than he's willing to admit.

I am so proud of him. He's crazy. But I'm proud of him.

Friday Fill Ins

1. Oh, I am so tired of being queasy! Not tired of being pregnant, I love feeling him move! Just the quease and discomfort, I could do without. I actually have LOST weight this week.

2. Every day Christopher changes, big and little. I never know what's a phase or what's illness or what's an emerging character trait. He's a maniac.

3. During Pirates Who Don't Do Anything, I hop on the computer. Yeah, I'm that parent.

4. What? Yo-yo Ma and Itzak Perlman playing at the Inauguration was pre-recorded; are you kidding me??? I had been so impressed. Suppose Aretha was lip-synching too? Nahhh...

5. Right now I'd like to be able to drink. I have a cold, and Chris has been stressing me out, I could use a good something alcoholic and tooty fruity. Or at least Nyquil to sleep. I was so tired this afternoon, and I could not sleep because my mind was way too active. It could be nesting, but it could just be I have a lot to do, and all my body wants to be able to is sleep, and my mind is like @)#$(*)%#&$)#*(%$)*. A drink would've helped that.

6. The Remote Control is my favorite gadget. It makes set-up for Chris's movies go pretty quickly, and yet, the Power is NOT in his hands.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to going to bed at a reasonable hour, but if I'm feeling really crazy, The Piano came in Netflix, apparently I can't get more girly than that, which might be nice tomorrow my plans include cheering on my crazy husband who is running the BOP TO THE TOP, 37 flights of stairs to the top of the One America building. He's fundraising for Riley Hospital for Children, Please Donate if you are reading this. For Chris! and Sunday, I want to be home and in bed at a reasonable hour, but we're driving down to my Dad's with my crazy grandparents (not so yeah)to celebrate his 60th Birthday (yeah!) !

This really Brave Lady

There's this lady I know. I don't even know her name. She's so and so's Mom (I do know the kid's name, but I didn't want publish that particular detail). So So and So is in Chris's Kindermusik class. Apparently, his Mom found out she had breast cancer when she was pregnant with him, but put off her treatment until after her "miracle baby" was born. Well, he's here, fabulous and adorable. And she underwent her treatment, and was doing fabulous too, back at work and everything. And I had heard her testimoy from our previous class interactions.

Last week, I saw her for the first time in a couple months and all that had changed. Christmas break, she found her cancer was back, in her brain, amongst other places, although those I did not get, because the docs immediately started aggressively attacking the tumor her brain. I guess that takes precidence over everything else. They did something called gamma knife radiation which best I can tell from her description, is like a laser zap of radiation directed straight at the trouble spot. Toss in there some chemo and radiation too for good measure. In the couple months since I last saw her, her appearance has changed drastically. But not her resolve.

Here she was. She was attending our class, she wanted to finish the semester! She hasn't quit working. She's still doing it all. I have so much respect for her strength, she just epitomizes "Fighter" to me. She was telling me this story in like the 5 minutes we've got to be sociable, and I just stood there in shock, unable to pronounce words, all I could do was hug her. Just coming to this class, though her strength is a bit zapped from illness, she still comes. She has a helper to lift. But, she was doing more of the physical stuff than I was!

But she'll be taking this next semester off from our class. I don't know if I'll see her or hear how she's doing or anything, and I just can't get her off my mind.

Please join me in praying for this lady.

I don't even know her name.

If you all could just help me pray for this really brave lady, I know it would help.

Wordless Wednesday

Missing Papa

Last Sunday, my step-grandfather passed away. For many reasons, mostly us being Too sick, and me Too pregnant, and them being near Buffalo, NY, we didn't go to the funeral.

My blood grandparents are a bit squirrely, to put it mildly. When Eric's grandma passed away, I spent a few days, pondering and remembering her. So, I've been doing the same thing this last week with Papa.
It was so refreshing when my Dad remarried when I was 13, and his new in-laws opened their arms to my sister and I, always treating us as family, just the same as their other grandchildren. We called him Papa (pup-ah). I tried to call him Grandpa Harry, becasuse Papa just didn't roll off my tongue, but everybody else called him Papa, so we did too. It actually brought tears to my eyes, when they included Lisa and I in the obituary. The first time I met them, was for Dad and MB's bridal shower, which coincidentally fell 2 days before our birthdays. They had a birthday party for us. (My sister and I, our birthdays are 2 days apart.) They had LITERALLY just met us, and here they were having a birthday party for us. He loved his sports, there was some sport on TV all the time. He had this fairly gruff demeanor, and at first, he scared me, but he was that way with Everybody, and after a bit, it felt good that he could razz us just like he razzed everyone else. It was good to be a member of that family.

This morning my step-mom, sent me his eulogy. So, I thought I'd just post it, because really, it's the same memories I have too.

Eulogy for Harry S. Stocky

Husband, Father, Brother, Uncle, Grandfather, Great-grandfather, Elk,
Veteran, Friend, Bowling Pin Setter, Plant Layout Engineer for Bell
Aerospace, Golfer, Bowler, Fisherman, Bills Fan, Beer Drinker,
Unofficial Event Poster Designer for Lodge # 860, Volunteer for Canal
Fest, Engaged Member of Ascension Parish and St. Jude Parish,-- all of
these embrace the ways we have come to know the man I am proud to call
my father-in-law, Harry Stocky. I have known him for forty years and he
has given to me many things in my life that have profound meaning, not
the least of which is my dear wife, her siblings and their spouses and
children, my extraordinary mother-in-law, and his extended family.

But among those qualities that are not explicit in the many roles that
Harry assumed are those that made him truly unique. He would never have
thought of himself as a teacher, but I have come to appreciate the
special things I learned from him. His marriage of fifty-nine years is
a model to all of us in its example of unselfish love and commitment.
I have met very few people who have his strength of character-- he was
as steady as they come. Harry treated everyone the same way, with no
pretensions. Often much to our surprise, he would say something that
would startle his target but never, ever with meanness. To watch him
witness the loss of three of his own children with dignity and grace
taught me that a man’s inner strength is very separate from his outward
bluster. Most importantly, in everything he did, in whatever role he
was playing at the moment, it was never about him-- it was always about
others. His greatest teaching was in showing all of us that a man’s
worth is mostly in what he does in the service of those other than himself.

Now we all know that Harry had idiosyncrasies-- we all learned more
about the need for insurance than we ever cared to know. We learned
that cheering for the Buffalo Bills meant that as soon as another team
scored, the Bills stunk-- even in those years when they went to four
straight Super Bowls. We learned that even the mention of the
possibility of a hurricane reaching North Carolina meant that we had to
scramble for safe shelter. We learned that driving into any big city
meant that you would be victimized by crime. We learned that playing
golf in downpours would not always secure our clothing. We learned that
any spot of rust on a car could signal total disintegration within days.
We learned that Franks Red Hot sauce makes every food taste better. We
learned that lifting your T-shirt up to your chest, a cold can of Busch
and a mesh baseball cap worn slightly tilted was almost as effective as
air-conditioning. It would seem that Harry was a bit of a worrier-- but
looking back at all of this, it’s pretty clear that he was worried about
all of us-- it wasn’t about him.

His bark was far worse than his bite; his laughter will be much more
firmly etched in our memories than any tears; his kindness toward, and
love for others will continue to inspire us to look for the good in each
other. I am going to miss him terribly. He was a character with
character; he was a gentleman with a little impishness thrown in for
good measure; he was a little like the Wizard of Oz-- behind the
curtain was a gentle soul with a heart of gold. And, I really didn’t
have to be afraid of him and leave Judy at the end of the street when we
dated.

In a moment of suds-inspired reflection, Harry surmised that his entire
life was on video tape and that tape would determine whether or not he
got into heaven when he passed away- and he was nervous about it. Maybe
that is why is referred to the alternative so often-- most of the time
preceded by “What the,” “Where the” or “How the.” Well--now the video
is complete, no doubt with an original score by Benny Matteratz and the
Bedbugs. I say “Well made, Dad. Go collect your Academy Award for
Best Performance in a leading role.”

That Look

This was Chris on the day of his Baptism. I've been going over all his 1st year photos on the computer, in an effort to finally complete his Baby Book, before #2 arrives. I'm getting pretty close. Chris was My Precious. He was tiny, he was sweet.

Today, he was not sweet.

But he kept giving me this same look.

I saw the little eyes, and chin, and just thought, how similar to this picture.
Mostly in the midst of great frustration, he'd give me this look, so I have not been smiling like in this photo. But, it's hard to stay frustrated with this sweet look.

Eric said yesterday, "Some boys you can put into Time Out, and they'll ask Why? Our son, you put into Time Out, and he'll ask Why Not?"

Dreaming Big

So, I've been getting a terrible Itch. One that I just had to write about. All our conversations lately usually have the phrases, "when we move", or "in our next house". Don't get me wrong. I love our house, we built it, and we've been very happy here. We love our neighborhood. But when we built, there was an empty field in our backyard, and it was supposed to be public land, NEXT to a pond. What we got, after coming back from our 2 years in California...was the pond.
We can't build a fence in our backyard. It didn't matter so much that we couldn't have a fence with Fina. She's so obedient she goes out, does her business, and comes back. We don't have her on a leash. (It's AMAZING the speed and efficiency with which her business has been conducted given the cold of the last couple days.) Chris can't play in our backyard. The slope into the pond is so steep, we can't trust him out there without being close enough to snag him.
Over Christmas break, before Chris got "whooping cough", we got a wild hair and went house shopping. We drove through a couple of new neighborhoods that are going up, and we've been eyeing. We even stopped in and looked at floorplans. That was when I discovered something.

I have expensive taste.

If we build a new house, we're going to need certain things, like a basement, a family room and a living room, so the living room can double as a piano room. My Dad's piano (an antique Steinway baby grand) has our name on it, and it's so nice, and downright neglected at my Dad's. We need only find room for it. Don't get me started on the wants: a 2 1/2-3 car garage, with a work area for Eric in the garage, 4 bedrooms...at least, a yard big enough for me to plant various fruit bushes (strawberry, blueberry, and raspberry) so I can Can my ever loving heart out. Oh and veggies too. Wouldn't mind one of those big loft areas that could be a playroom, or an extra bedroom to be a playroom. Oh, or how about a bathroom and bedroom on the main floor so that if I go all gimpy or we end up with some grandparents living with us someday, we can live without going upstairs. It gets so tempting, the list just starts to snowball. And get me into trouble.
When we were at one neighborhood after Christmas, we liked a floorplan, and the saleslady called this weekend to let us know they have one available to see, (it's a new plan that hadn't been built or available previously) and somehow I can't stop thinking about it. I can't stop thinking about building a new house. Some friends of ours just broke ground last week, and I'm so jealous.
It's a pickle really, I want what I want, but I want us to be able to afford ALL that we want, or I don't want to move. I'm not unhappy here. If we could find something bigger with a basement right here, I'd stay put. We're just already at capacity, and QT kicks everything up a notch. I told Eric I'd be fine not going anywhere until QT was mobile, but now that it's nearing his time.

Well, I have a terrible itch.

An itch to move.

An itch for a new house.

Right now.

Veggie Tales Theology

Christopher's favorite movie this week has been Pirates Who Don't Do Anything. Eric and I were discussing yesterday, how all the Veggie Tales stories follow a Bible Story. This one doesn't. It was odd. Sure, it discusses Heroes, and doing the right thing, and helping others, but no one biblical story. Just a feature with the pirates.

So, then I was researching one of the songs, that has been sticking in my head. I wish I could've found it on youtube or something, it's kind of rappy, reggae, and catchy as all get out.

Yo Ho Hero

Raise the mast on the steadfast!
Swept to their bareback seahorse
Say they gonna try the sea course
Who could survive such a dangerous mission
Alongside pirates with zero ambition

We got the coconuts poured
We drop the hooks overboard
And if you get a little seasick
We play the Haddock for a Hat trick

We got the hammocks on the main deck
Swingin' low
We got the butler doin' the hen-peck
Screamin' so
He say we shoulda been swabbin' the poop deck
We dunno
It's what the other pirates do do
But we're bringin' you

Yo ho heroes
Standin' in the gap
Where'd you put the toys
Time to take a nap

Yo Ho heroes
Flighty as a bird
Easy is the word
Yo, I'm seein' no heroes

We're on a limbo craze
It's a relic from our limber days
Now we're stuck inside the Limbo-Zone
Its where the pirates go with too much time and a missing spine

Yo ho heroes
Standing in the gap
Where'd you put the map
Take another nap

Yo ho heroes
Strike a better pose
That's the way it goes
Yo, I'm seein' no heroes

We're on the Bad Mood Swing
We haven't done one thing
Not even a minimum daily requirement
We got the funk without the Parliament

And if you're feelin' a little seasick
rizeandshine
And if you wanna get off the guilt trip
Now's the time
Because the Captain of the Main Ship
Rings the chime
He could be comin' before you know Him
What are you gonna show Him

Go hero
Standing in the gap
Takin' up the slack
Followin' the King's Map

Go hero
Steady as a rock
I know it's a shock
Yo, there be a hero

Go hero
Standin' in the gap
Takin' up the slack
Followin' the King's Map

Go hero
Steady at the wheel
Keep an even keel
Yo, there be the King's hero

Suddenly this verse leapt out at me,
"And if you're feelin' a little seasick
rizeandshine
And if you wanna get off the guilt trip
Now's the time
Because the Captain of the Main Ship
Rings the chime
He could be comin' before you know Him
What are you gonna show Him"

Why didn't I see this before?
Duh.

The King is The Father! Heroes come in the unlikeliest of places, even cabin boys. The King will Come Again. When he does, he practically says, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

"The adventure I call you to may not be easy, but you'll never journey alone. My help is always there."

Go BU

Some pics from our adventures at the Butler game this weekend. Sorry they're blurry...cell phones.



Can you find Eric in the band, he's the cute one with the saxophone!



Chris watches over the team and the band at Hinkle Fieldhouse at the same time from our nosebleed seats with his own basketball.



My baby boy wanted to play basketball, with his new nerfy Butler Basketball and with the big kids and their full size basketballs. They stopped when he came on the court, easily the smallest out there, I think they were afraid they'd squash him.

It's hard to stop Chris.

Meme from my sis

1. My uncle once:
drank beer out of a baby bottle at a surprise family baby shower for me. And it was so hysterical. Actually, 3 out of 4 uncles did this, and one underage cousin. At one point, someone dropped a beer-filled bottle, (bad idea to contain carbonated beverages!) and the nipple swelled up to 8 times normal size with pinpoint prickle streams of beer spewing out. Laughed so hard my belly hurt, and being 33 weeks along at the time, that was a serious belly.

2. Never in my life:
could you talk me into bungee jumping. Hot air balloon riding, someday, maybe even para-sailing, but not bungee jumping. I would get to the bottom of the jump and puke.

3. When I was five:
I started kindergarten, and the most exciting thing was that I no longer had to take a nap with the other kids (babies). Oh...how I miss those days. We had a mock election, it was 1980, and Ronald Reagan LOST to George Washington.

4. High school was:
awful. I was no where near cool and kids are mean.

5. I will never forget:
the days following Christopher's birth.

6. Once I met:
Cowboy Bob! My sister and I were on his TV show, and got to meet him and his dog Tumbeweed, I think I was 6, (which would have made her 3) and she kept running off the set to chase camera cords and cameramen.

7. There's this girl I know:
who just had a baby boy, and I am praying very hard for them.

8. Once, at a bar:
I saw a boy I went to high school with (and had a huge crush on) DJ-ing in the corner, and I was tempted to go talk to him (more than I'd done in high school) but he was smoking up a storm, and it made me nauseous.

9. By noon:
I'm ready for a nap. Wait, make that 11, no 10 a.m.

10. Last night:
My child got Pink Eye. I had to call all my friends who we had just seen and confess that we exposed them. I hate making phone calls like that, and this is the second time in 3 weeks we've had to call people because may have exposed them to some highly contagious awful disease.

11. If only I had:
millions of dollars...the people I'd help, my friends and family, the poor, others like Chris. Yeah, and I would take Chris to DisneyWorld!

12. Next time I go to church:
will probably be February because my son keeps getting anthrax and cooties. Haven't been since Christmas Eve.

13. What worries me most:
is the health of this baby.

14. When I turn my head left I see:
a sea of computers, three towers on a first level, and another one on top, with the sides open and wires and crap all hanging out. Can you tell whose zone this is?

15. When I turn my head right I see:
Chistopher's unfinished Baby Book lying open, and every CD we own piled in half a dozen giant stacks, because we're totally excellent at starting productive projects and not finishing them. The CDs were piled up like a year ago, and brought down in hopes of a. getting them out of Chris's reach, and b. loading them onto the computer so we could have MP3s of everything we own. At least in the last two weeks I've been making progress on the baby book. That only took me 3 years.

16. You know I'm lying when:
I can't look you in the eye. I'm a terrible lyer.

17. What I miss most about the Eighties is:
roller skating. It's about the only physical activity wherein I had skills. We used to put my "blaster" out on the sidewalk, and roller skate in the street or parking lot to classics artists like the Bangles or Tiffany.

18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I'd be:
yelling "Out out damn spot!" Chris has pink eye, and I've washed my hands so many times in the last 12 hours that my skin is already cracking.

19. By this time next year:
we will be a family of 4. That makes me smile.

20. If I ever go back to school, I'll:
pursue a degree in gemology or jewelry repair. I want to open my own bench in the basement, where my friends (or clients) can come, have a cup of something festive, while I do their repair RIGHT there. No having to worry about letting your wedding ring out of your sight, plus I get to yap, which is what I do best, and stay home with the kids, but have my own flexible schedule to work while they're at school.

Friday Fill Ins

1. It's January; I love the snow. I even don't mind the ice, it's so pretty on the trees, as long as I (or anyone I love) has to drive on it. I hate winter driving. Speaking of which, Ice tonight and snow tomorrow-woohoo.

2. M&M cookies is what I crave most right now. When we visited the model home, they had chocolate cookies with pink m&ms that hit the SPOT!

3. Cork and wine go together like salt and pepper. I kind of miss being able to drink.

4. A good glass of milk is so nourishing. We ran out last night, God Bless Kathleen who brought some to MOPS, not even knowing how depressing a breakfast with water can be; I was craving it fierce. Don't think I can make it through breakfast without it again. Am sending Eric out as soon as Chris is down to go get me more. Milk, amazingly, quenches the hunger, calms the quease, full of all kinds of good things, and come to think of it....goes so darn well with M&M cookies...hmmmm.

5. Let us dare to Believe. In HOPE all things are possible.

6. Buy my home. Eric and I are getting the itch to move to a bigger place, but it will take work to get the house ready. On the other hand, WE built this house, and we've loved it, and if not for the fact we're already at capacity with another on the way, we'd stay here. I hope whoever buys this house recognizes it for the treasure it is.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to (little late) a home cooked meal of Ham and Cheese casserole, tomorrow my plans include BU Game! and Game Night and Sunday, I want to take a nap--duh!

More Wordless Wednesday

A story in pictures:













And I cried all the way home.

Head Start for Wordless Wednesday

Hate Waiting?

Well, not only do we hate waiting in isolation, waiting to see if Chris really does have whooping cough, which we are fairly sure he doesn't.
But.....



Remember how I wrote about how we this family tradition of the Wise Men traveling the house until Epiphany. They don't reach the manger until Epiphany.

Apparently Baby Jesus has no patience either. Baby Jesus went to see the Wise Men! He couldn't wait to see the Wise Men, and he moved to them. We didn't see that one coming! But if anyone has the power....

Ch. 4 The Mommy Diaries

Odd that I should finish Chapter 4 on this week. The questions gave me a lot to ponder.

1. When was the last time you asked for help? I've been blessed with a group of friends and family that are in touch enough to know when help is needed. When Chris had his Feeding Tube surgery last May, and I was asked if there was anything our MOPS friends could do, I said yes, please bring food. From our previous surgeries, we would come home, and the last thing we felt like doing was cooking. All we wanted to do was sleep, and then our bellies growling would wake us. It is such a load off to not worry about that. Chris, with all his issues, and even getting pregnant with him required support. Even this week, being in "isolation" because he MAY have Whooping Cough I received multiple offers for help. The Sweetest Offer was from one friend offered to run errands and drop supplies off with a "secret knock" so as not to get possibly exposed to our cooties.

2. How hard is it for you to ask for help? What do you think holds you back? Well, it used to be harder for me. Pride was an obstacle, but not so much now. But since Chris, I've found that in letting others help me, help us, they get a blessing too. For not only is it a gift to recieve, but also to give. And by asking for help, or letting someone who wishes to help us when we need it, we are Letting them Give to us, and that's a gift too. Some folks that have offered help to us were merely acquaintances, now they're family. And they get to see Chris's light. Christopher's name means Christ-bearer, and he does that. It's his Gift from God really, he has this light, and those that know him get to witness the miracle that he is. You know how they say, it takes a village to raise a child. He's a child that really has a village that helps.

3. Oftentimes failure to seek out aid from someone else stems from an issue of pride. What has got you thinking you are capable of handling it all on your own? Funny how that last part practically yells to me, DOLT! Don't you know God is in control and you are NEVER ALONE?! Yes, I used to have Pride. Now I don't have pride in things that I juggle, because I'm a terrible juggler. I have pride when someone says to me, Chris is a great boy, or in spite of everything, he's thriving. God Gives me all I have, and it's not so much pride but gratefulness and a recognition of those blessings from above that I carry now instead of pride.

4. Do you view offers of help as debts you must pay off as quickly as possible? No. More like, there's a running tally of those in my head that jumped to help us out, and now I know that They are people I can count on in a time of need. Like, creating a list of who to ask when there's a big favor, or people to let know that Chris needs prayer, the people I can count on as our prayer warriors and helpers. Also, there's the concept of Pay It Forward. By accepting help with Chris so early on, and recognizing what a blessing it was, I try to help out and offer help to others when it is possible.

5. What will it take for you to view the help you receive as acts of grace with no return favors expected? This one doesn't really apply to me in the way of viewing them, because I see these offers as grace-filled Gifts, and perhaps not with return favors expected, but maybe I just want to remember to pass it on. When that person is in need, to remember that they helped and I'll try to help too, or pass on the help. It actually happened this year to some folks at church (Sometimes people know us because we're in the choir, but sometimes we only know their faces, so the entire church adopted Chris)this a family who I hadn't met formally until they brought food when Chris was born. I got to know them through that gift. Then this year, their daughter got a benign brain tumor that had to be removed and was in the hospital for a while. Having been there, done that, we stopped by with a care package. In this case it wasn't so much a case of 'well, they brought me food, I should bring them something because I owe them' but more of a case of remember how I felt, remember what I needed, they are our friends now and how can I help them?

A Prayer Request

Dearest Prayer Warriors,

I ask you to please pray for Baby Andrew, the son of a friend of mine, who was born 2 days ago at 26 1/2 weeks. His Mommy was due a week after me. He arrived larger than anticipated, at 2 pounds, 3 ounces, and he sounds like a real Champ. Given the giant umbrella of problems associated with being such a preemie, he's doing well, they are optimistic, but it's a daily battle. He's a little fighter, and he and his family are going to really need our prayers. So please pray with me.