Thursday, February 18, 2010

Ch. 2 Life on Planet Mom

Interesting thing, this Chapter, entitled, "Who are you again? Oh yeah, the guy that I married." Funny how much we have become ships that pass in the night. This chapter freshened up my memory and has made me want to get back in touch with my hubs.

1. How has becoming parents improved your marrriage or made you feel closer to your husband? No one but Eric can understand what it's been like, all the stuff with Chris, the pain and frustration, of before, during, and after. We've both been there, and Eric gets me. I feel closer now because he understands me. Early in our dating career, he could spot a cute baby across a room, even before me sometimes. We still can spot the Cuteness a mile away, and it's even more rewarding when it's our own children. The best sound in the world is all 4 of us laughing at the same time, at each other.

2. Are you and your husband able to stand together as a couple when it comes to disciplining your children, establishing rules, or teaching them? Why or Why not? How could you draw even more together on these fronts? Yes. We're pretty spot on, on things. I wouldn't say we never disagree, usually it's things like, well I Told him he could have dessert and he's reminding me of it 2 seconds before bed. The differences are most noted by Chris, who is getting smart, too smart for us sometimes. Believe it or not, we had a bit of a crisis a few weeks ago with regard to Chris and school, and when we went to meet with his teachers, the subsequent discussions and Plan we put out really helped bring us back to the same page. We just need to do that more often--but without being called into the principal's office...

3. Do you have quality time with your husband? How do you carve out this time? What are some ways to can do that more consistently? Yes. We have been getting 1 datenight out a month for the last few months. Usually it's just us running the kids over to Mom W's house while we go out to eat, but we've been to a couple movies too. That's been nice. We don't usually think too far in advance. Sometimes he comes home, and both of us are just a drained, and we call Mom who is Thrilled to have some kids. If we planned more in advanced we could make more Quality Time out of it, but by the time we get by ourselves we're just hungry and tired. Scheduling dates would help. Last chapter had that quote about getting out 1 evening a week, 1 day a month, and 1 weekend a year. This one talked about what would we do if we had an ideal day. Eric and I talked about it. So, we scheduled a Mom's Day out for this month (my first since Sam!) and we scheduled an Eric's Ideal day for March. We both felt that our Ideal day would NOT be without the kids ironically, but just wanted to hang out with them and Relax. Can't wait to try. Hope I can sit still enough to relax.

4. Have you experienced the "Is this all there is?" question in your marriage? If so, how did you weather it? If not, how would you wetaher it, should it occur in the future? No. I have not. Eric and I are wishful planners and we focus on the next big thing. I think keeping the lines of communication and not only enjoying the present but planning fun for the future helps us keep things Fresh. And as our family grows, things keep changing, it doesn't get much chance to get stagnant. Sometimes waiting for the fun to arrive is hard though. We're in the throws of planning to build a new house, and it's not going near fast enough for me. I can't wait to move in to a new place!

5. What are the biggest obstacles to your feeling closer to your husband today? Any ideas on how you could remove those obstacles or at least chip away at them? I'm Tired. We've both been so sleep deprived, the idea of taking a date night, and coming home even later than usual just doesn't appeal. The idea of taking a date day, and risk missing naptime for anyone, doesn't either. I just want to Sleep. I told him, my ideal day would be Sleep in, take a big fat nap, and go to bed early. Somewhere in there, I wouldn't mind eating well. The Obstacle? If my children would/could sleep through the night, that would help immensely. To chip away at this? Well? I could let him cry it out, but we tried that last week, and he went 20 minutes before I caved. Sam may possibly be more stubborn than I. That's Scary. We'll just hope that once he's over this cold, and his teeth are in, that he gets better.

6. For single moms in the group: whom do you seek out the most as your chief supporter, encourager, and listener? For married moms in the group: Would you go to the same person in your life, if you were single? If not, whom would you choose? Obviously I go to Eric the most. But when I was single I went to my Mother, but now she won't talk to me, that's not an option. So I go to my Mother-in-law, and my girlfriends. God Bless Them, for They keep me Sane.