Saturday, September 6, 2014

The last service


Since my cousin Suzy's funeral was in New York, my Dad and Stepmom wanted to have a service here in Indy for her too.  They held it at the University of Indianapolis chapel.   I was expecting more of a mass, but this was much more my kind of funeral service.  My sister asked me to video tape the service.  And I did.   But later that night, I was not paying attention and accidently deleted.  Eric has been working for days to try to recover it, but it's just not going to happen.  It's too bad too, Everybody had such wonderful Suzy stories to tell.  I wanted to get up and tell one too, but I just didn't think I could get up and do it without blubbering.   Even though I'm crushed I lost the video, I am Thankful that I had the point-n-shoot camera with me, and I snapped some still shots too.

One of my favorite things about the service.  It was set up kind of like a circle, the room divided into 3 sections of seats, with a couple aisles,  the widest space aiming to the front of the room, and in the center, kind of an altar.  On it was a picture of Suzy and trays full of double stuff Oreos.  
Suzy's favorite.  

They told us all to take a cookie as we left, to remember our Suz by.  It was beautiful.  It was almost like sharing it with her.  And I loved seeing all kinds of people go up for a cookie.  There were lots and lots of people there.  And in that room, I could definitely feel the Love.  These people knew and loved Suzy.  Though Suz was the kind of person, as someone pointed out, that you 'knew' in 10 minutes, and once you met her you were her friend, and if you were her friend, then you were family.  And she was friends with the most hard to be friends with people, like some folks in my family.  A number of people stood up during the service and told how Suzy had helped them in time of need: given them a ride even though it wasn't remotely convenient, gone shopping for them when they couldn't, dog sitting when she was a cat person.  She had a rescuing personality, and a heart bigger than herself.  She took it upon herself to rescue the stray neighborhood cats in her old apartment complex, feed them, and take them to be fixed.  Once there were some kittens, and she took them out to the country, she didn't feel it was safe 'in the city', some 150 miles away.  Days later, one of them showed back up on her doorstep.  She loved all creatures, great and small.  One gal got up there and said, she'd read someone lament about how much the world was going to suffer, now that she was gone, how many people she wasn't going to be able to help.  I want to say that was Lisa, she said something like it, shortly after she found out, when our hearts were shattered and in pain.  To that, his friend of hers said, if each of us could do something kind for someone, just like the kind of thing Suzy would have done, and passed it on, in her name, well, then we could help more.  

Something to think about. 

Jacob thoroughly enjoyed his cookie from Suzy. 

My sister ordered flowers.  She had a heck of a time getting them in Suzy's favorite colors - teal and purple.  But a.  they turned out to be the only flowers there, and b.  they were Perfect, just beautiful.  And as one of our friends pointed out, they matched the walls of the chapel. :)  

Teal carnations and purple daisies.  

The purples were a bit more naturally occuring.  I think this one is a light purple dahlia. 
 I don't think they had to fake these. 

And even if they had to whip these up fancy, just to get them to be the right shade of teal, probably by taking white carnations and putting them in blue-green dye colored water for a day or two, well, I don't care.  Because I loved it.   I bet it would have made Suzy smile.  

Coburn Place, where Suzy worked, put up this great board, with loads of handwritten notes from the people there who loved and remembered Suzy.  I couldn't decide whether to be proud or cry. 

I was taking pictures of it, to show Li, when a Coburn employee over my shoulder came up and did the same.  As she was snapping away, she began to shriek.  She had been holding a cup of iced tea (they were serving tea and cookies in a mini-reception after the service), and dumped it right down her shirt.  We all began to laugh.  It was Suzy.  She was a jokester, and she would have laughed her butt off at that.    I couldn't help but smile.  And I left smiling.   This was the Closure I needed.   Not that I'm not still sad.  I am.  But I can look around at her dishes in my kitchen, and her couch in my living room, and not be As Sad.  As Lisa would say, Baby Steps, yo. 

Daddy and MB decided that they wanted to do dinner at Santorini's, a nifty Greek place, that was one of Suzy's favorites.  I don't think I'd ever been there.   It was yummy.  I could have eaten their bread all day.  

Jacob didn't quite say Opa!  But he was having a fine time throwing his bright Greek blue napkin all over the place and on his head.  He wanted to eat everything we were eating.  We didn't bring all the crazy, just Jake.  We anticipated he might have a rough evening.  He didn't though. In fact, having him with us, that joy of life he brings, it was therapeutic.  And it's good for me to focus on the new lives, and my sweetboys, and their new lives, they can bring me some comfort and joy.