Tuesday, March 12, 2013

32 with its Ups and Downs

We made it to 32 weeks!  That's a Huge Accomplishment.  By hitting that goal, we've gotten to a 98% survival rate, barring any birth defects.  That's been a huge load off my mind.  And I'm so Thankful for your Prayers.  

On the other hand, it's been hard to write about what's going on, because my mind has been so cloudy.  I can't think, thus can't write.  Plus, as happy as I am that we made it to 32 weeks, I feel like all I do is gripe about this pregnancy.  I don't want to seem ungrateful.  I am Grateful.  Supremely Grateful.  I'm so excited about this baby, I can't even tell you.  The words just don't want to come.  But that could also be because I'm not so much with the thinking.

My blood pressure has been all over the place lately.   Last Wednesday I went into the OB for my weekly appt, and my BP was up.  It was 130/80 in the office.  Now that's high for them to see, I'd seen higher at home, but still it was enough for us all to go Hmm...  "Things that make you go Hmmm...."  So my doctor told me to watch it, and if it went up more, to take an extra pill and watch some more in case more action may be needed.  I had been on labetalol, 200 mg 2X a day.  But during the course of the day, it kept rising.  Even after naps.  That's not good in my eyes.  So with dinner Wednesday, I popped an extra pill.  

By my bedtime, my BP was going down, I had been laying down all evening and by bedtime it was 110/70.   Not too shabby! 

The next day though, it was doing squirrely things.  I felt funky.   Took my BP and it was doing funky things, sometimes it wouldn't even register, but when it did, it was like 120-100/100-80, just a gap of 20 mmHg. Weird right? Right.  
I figured my top number was coming down for being so high on Wednesday, but the lower hadn't had a chance to catch up and adjust to my extra pill Wednesday night.  So I didn't take anything extra on Thursday.  By Friday it was  better, more reasonable, 120/80 that sort of thing.  Still not fabulous but Better. So I still didn't drug up.   

Saturday, was probably my best day.  I felt a bit more human, kind of had some thoughts.  Was able to pull enough coherency together to start plotting Sam's birthday, and get on the list of stuff we need to do for Baby J.  But in the evening I noticed it started my BP going back up again, 140/80.  Pook. 
Sunday it was getting swirly again, doing that crazy thing where it's only 20 point difference, this time it was 120/100, and 95/80.  I wasn't taking it as much, because I knew it was wrong, and being Scarlett O'Hara and not thinking about that today is better than nothing.  So I stayed home, parked on the couch, watched birds and the sun shine, while my kids got to play and I didn't.  I didn't want to go in, just wanted to chill until I could call my doctor on Monday.  

So Yesterday I did.  It didn't help that my BP was 160/100 after breakfast yesterday.  Boo.   So they called back, and upped me to 300 mg twice a day.  Stayed on the couch, watching boatloads of West Wing episodes, and didn't move much.  I hate that I can't do much, can't help the kids when they need it.  Hate that they're getting so good at reading me, Sam will constantly ask, Mommy, do you need another gatorade?  Granted, most of the time, he only wants to get the green and blue ones which don't have Red 40, so I will reward him with a swig, but he also is getting pretty good at being able to tell when I need them.  

And this last week, well, I went through a sh'load of gatorade.  

Today has been a little better.  My BP was down to 130/80 this morning, sad that that is now my level of "down to", when in my previous pregnancies 130 was High for me, heck was high last week.  Still is a bit, I can feel the fuzz in my head when it's up that high. I don't have to always be taking my blood pressure, which is good, because sometimes if it's being really goofy, the machine will error out.  If I get a couple errors in a row, I just lay down.  I'm beginning to tell by Feel how my BP is doing. If I'm weak, dizzy, feeling a bit hot flashy, it probably means I'm low...and need to lay down. If I'm fuzzy headed, restless, exhausted but unable to sleep, that seems to indicate I'm high....and need to lay down. Neither one is conducive to completing thoughts, or being productive, finishing any of the myriad of projects that need to be done around the house, heck I haven't even been able to communicate What needs to be done.  If it wasn't for my List of Lists, nothing would get done around here.  Thankfully, Eric's been feeling better, he made a lot of progress this week on stuff around here...but that should probably be another post.  

But I think I'm doing better, after all, I felt like finally Blogging, right?!  That's Progress.  Baby Steps. 

Looking a little more Pregnant, and less like a tubby woman in her pajamas.  

And feeling almost good enough to have Eric take a cheesy picture.  

Funny thing, while writing this I was chatting with my sister, telling her how I was feeling frustrated, sick and tired of being sick and tired, and as always, she had words of wisdom that really put things in Perspective.  
(Perspective, Yo!)

"It's All Temporary,  in mere WEEKS you will have a Sweet Loaf of Bread who will barf on you and make it all Worth-while." 

Yes, yes I will.