Wednesday, February 29, 2012

A really crappy day


I had a really nasty day yesterday. The kind that makes you want to just go home and go to bed. I was not really fit for people. I have been fighting a sore throat for the last 5 days. Yesterday I woke up at 4 a.m. and couldn't go back to sleep, but wasn't really coherent enough to think to make productive use of that time. Sam woke up crying at 6, when I went in, he told me to sleep with him. So I curled up with him, but I couldn't sleep. I just watched him. He likes to be touched but not held, close but not too close. He's funny like that. But we snuggled. Then Chris got up and snuggled with me. I didn't want to get ready and go through the day, it was very mechanical. That should have been my clue. If I'm not looking forward to running and chilling at Starbucks while kids are in school I must be sick. I didn't want anything to do with swallowing, or food. It didn't taste good. It hurt like hell to swallow, and it wasn't on the schedule to be sick. We're pretty set in our routines now. Granted we have flexibility in things like what's for lunch, but squeezing in an impromptu doctor visit just doesn't work unless it's Thursday, maybe Monday. But that's about it. See? Too busy. Too crazy. Anyway, they squeezed me in 4. But in the mean time, I kept getting stupider and stupider. Another sign. I was driving, and I almost drove past the Costco gas station I wanted to hit before the gas rose again. I did catch it for $3.63, when everywhere else is at 3.85. (What is up with that, that $3.63 is cheap?!) Anyway, by 2 p.m. I had tried unsuccessfully for an hour to nap, and was practically in tears. Eric had kindly agreed to come home and watch the kids so I could see the doctor without them, Bless Him. But he had a sore throat. I asked if he could skip bell choir (he directs) so I could just come home and go to bed. I was So Tired. All I wanted to do was sleep, and couldn't get comfortable. My head hurt so fierce any pillow pressure was not good. Don't get me started on the nasal drainage, or trying to swallow. Swallowing would wake me up, it hurt so bad.

So it was no surprise when Dr. C took a peek in my throat and said, That's Disgusting! I know, that's why I was there. My throat did not look like the little model in the picture. See this pic, the little sideways mouth? Not what mine looked like.

I had a fever too. He did a strep test, turns out I'm positive. So yeah, Strep. So I swing through and picked up our drugs. And I felt like ass. And when Eric came home, his sore throat started yesterday too, but I was way to mean and intolerant, I didn't want to hear it. I was so over all the suffering. We were a couple of hot messes. I heated up soup for dinner, that no one ate.

But I got a phone call in the parking lot of the doctor's, that had kind of changed things. Fina's vet called with the results of her biopsy. And it is cancer.

It's a Mast Cell Tumor, and it has spread. She had that tumor removed from her tail stub in December, and we thought we got it. But at the same time she was having a weird rash on her feet. We thought it was allergies, so we started her on antihistamines. Outdoor allergens didn't totally die out this winter, so we thought it was that. But it wasn't. So we put her on antibiotics too. And tried changing her diet, she was on an all salmon expensive dog food diet. But it just got worse. Now they are big, smelly, raw, bleeding, and all over every foot. So we took her to a doggie dermatologist has confirmed cancer. And it's not a cancer that responds well to chemo. So put her on prednisone, and a new antibiotic, and a narcotic for Comfort.
Until she cues us that she's ready to Go, which he says should be a matter of weeks, 4 months at the absolute maximum. Since we're having some smell, it's pretty bad off already. In the mean time, she's pretty happy today, she's feeling a bit better, the new drug cocktail seems to take the edge off. She even ran around enough to pant. And she's sleeping better. And oh, to be getting the boys leftover waffle bits! I don't care if she's sharking around the breakfast table. So this morning, Fina got Sam's leftover bit of waffles. And I asked her, if she'd like syrup with that?

Why yes, yes she would.


Elizabeth said...

So, so sorry to hear about Fina. I am glad that the new drug cocktail seems to be keeping her more comfortable. Enjoy these days with her.

I hope that your new drug cocktail is working too and your throat is recovering...