Friday, October 16, 2009

But Manners are Hot

My MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) had a meeting today. We had a guest speaker, Lori Borgman, author and columnist. She writes about families, Christian principles and today she spoke to our group about the differences between boys and girls, and how our the trend in making girls and boys completely equal has emasculated our boys. It was interesting, her theory that by punishing a boys' natural tendencies to run, chase, fight, and dig in the dirt, leaves them confused. I was reminded of God created us Differently because that was HIS plan, not ours, and we go around messing with it, trying to make us all the same. God enjoys variety.
One of the other things she told us was that it was our job as Moms, to bring up our boys (or for those of us that have girls, to be aware of boys) to be Men. We Moms have a tough job to do, creating boys that are gentlemen, comfortable with girls, and not cruel. She said the root of the word Virtue, was virtus which meant Manly. That to be a Man was to be virtuous.
One of the stories she told was about her daughter, who had gone with a group to a basketball game downtown. Afterward the boys wanted to go to Hooters, and not for wings. She and the 1 other girl (who she didn't know well) didn't want to go. One boy in the group said to them, you two girls shouldn't be wandering around downtown at night, I'll go with you. So they went to Steak and Shake. My favorite part was when she told a story about a girl that had been asked to prom by two boys. One boy took the extra step and wrote her a POEM. He signed it, Tenderly. She said, you can guess who got the date. Because Manners Are Hot.

Yeah they are!

So, when Eric took me out to dinner this evening....he opened the doors for me. I didn't even have to ask. Yeah, Manners are hot.

I want my boys to be like that. Well mannered boys, with hot manners, who are comfortable playing run and chasing and playing in the dirt...when appropriate. Boy, am I going to have a lot of work ahead of me! I'm really blessed that my boys have such an excellent role model in their father. He's a great father to them, and they both know it. Their biggest smiles and hugs of the day are when Daddy comes home. And Daddy plays with them in ways Mommy can't, and to see them together does my heart good.

It was also comforting to hear about how rambunctious and wild boys can be, climbing all over, and chasing and running, and growling, that it's all normal behavior. I NEED to hear that my boy is normal. I like having normal boys. I'm so used to things being not normal, that it's comforting to hear that behaviors are normal. Now to spread the word and reinforce the truth, how absolutely amazingly Extra-ordinary they are.


Kathy said...

Right on!

Carla S said...


Sounds like a great lesson that we boy mommies should all take with us! (Especially for those days when boys will be boys. Did you see my last post? LOL)

Have a great weekend! Thanks for posting this. I needed it!

Andrea said...

We had an associate pastor who had the same theory. And it totally makes sense. However, I have to admit I cringe a little when he talks about giving them swords and guns and all types of manly things. Of course, I have known men (and probably even a woman or two) who cringe when they hear about princess stuff so I guess it goes both ways. ;)

Unknown said...

I told my hubby about Lori's talk too and about how he used to always open my car door for me, but hasn't in a long time. I realized that it was mainly because I drive more often and I'm usually busy getting Michael buckled in the carseat (not to mention that we are usually rushing to get out the door!).

Well, tonight we had a date (sans MIchael) and he opened my car door for me. :) And it was hot!

I also agree that it's good to hear that boys being boys is just normal! I've also noticed recently that Michael has been doing caring things for us, that Doug and I have always done for him (telling him thank you, kissing his boo boos, patting his arm or head in comfort). So, they can be rowdy boys, but I'm seeing that there does come a time when that gentleness comes though more and more too.

Raising a boy is such a fun challenge!