Friday, October 30, 2009

Voices of Reason

Once upon a time, there was a young girl. My mother had gone to med school while I was in elementary school, so that by the time she graduated and entered her residency, I was Prime age for babysitting. Every year, the psych residents would have a retreat down by Lake Monroe over Memorial Day weekend. Many of the other residents had young kids. And my sister and I were the ONLY kids of babysitting age. They also had meetings about doctor related stuff, but all I cared about was watching the kids and going swimming. So...after hours, we played with the kids while the grownups did some playing of their own. It was good times. Our first year, I got to watch this beautiful youngster, we'll call her Lauren* to protect the innocent, and we had So Much Fun. Our second year, we couldn't wait to see Lauren again. Her Mom had another baby, and while that was all great, the baby didn't do much, and my sister and I were very excited to play with Lauren again. (It wasn't until many years later that I realized that the babies were the easier ones to watch.) We arrived early, and I remember seeing her family park their car at the top of the hill. My sister and I ran over to 'help' them unload (i.e. start playing with the young Lauren, who was 3 maybe). Lauren and my sister ran Dashing back down the breakneck speed. They were little and light and their running was even faster than I felt comfortable with. Apparently I yelled, Slow Down, just half a second faster than Lauren's parents.
Later her Dad would tell the story, that amongst a cacophony of noise and insanity as the screaming youngsters dashed down the hill, a Voice of Reason rang out.

I was that Voice of Reason.

So the story goes. And he would cite that I was this Voice of Reason amongst the insanity. Really that was how I spent the first half of my life, I was the responsible one, always well behaved, Goody Two Shoes, watching out for my little sister, cooking, etc.
Now I'm not.
Now my husband is the Voice of Reason, and I have become the Voice of Insanity....Come away with me...Be late to've worked so long, so late, sleep in...stay and have breakfast with me...let's go to Starbucks....leave the computer...throw away that cell phone.


He's been working too many hours. And it's because he's good guy. Darn it. On one hand I'm proud of him, he's such a good hardworking guy, on the other, he's so nice, he won't say NO! They keep extending the work, other people keep being dumb, and it just doesn't seem to end. He comes by it honestly, his brothers are the same way. Loyal and hard-working. All three of them have jobs where their bosses dwell in darkness without them, and they all have been experiencing the results. We got to see them this evening, it had been a while, months since we were All together, and I would've liked to stay longer, have a drink, relax and chat, but my boys were all losing the battles for sleep...all 3 of them. The youngest brother is taking a Monster actuarial exam this coming week, so he's all crazy. Eric's younger brother is taking an awesome new job offer and everything is all up in the air. And Eric, well, he's been so busy this month the boys can't stand it they miss him so. He was gone this weekend, Chris climbs him like a monkey and Sam just wants to eat his shirts. He missed the Children's Museum and ZooBoo and we didn't even get pumpkins for Halloween. Good thing we have a plastic one floating around here somewhere.

I was so livid that Eric got 3 hours of sleep because of work last night, (and the phone woke us ALL up at 5:45 this morning, that I told him in no uncertain terms that he was OURS tomorrow. Our MOPS/church group is having a Trunk or Treat, beginning at 10, and he is to be there. Plus to be Trick or Treating with the boys and I in the evening. And we want our Daddy! So when the project leader told him this afternoon that he was to report at work tomorrow, he said No. (I was so Proud!) That didn't go over well. Eric said, well I can work, but I have to leave no later than 9 a.m. He thought that would make his point. Instead the guy said, OK I'll see you here at 6 a.m. Oy.
So poor Eric is going to be working tomorrow morning, plus Sunday afternoon, and probably being bothered during any free minute he has in between. I can't wait until this project is over. I have been so frazzled. I'm not reasonable, I am not being a voice of reason, I am a woman on the edge, I just want to take his computer and phone and throw them out the window and run away to Disney World. I scared Sam this evening screaming at Chris. Usually Sam is accustomed to me yelling at Chris, but I had kicked it up because I had a short fuse and Chris wasn't listening. I'm not cut out for Single Parenthood. I guess the up side is that I've learned that my body is capable of a lot more than I thought, it's My Mind that's going.