It is Done

I had a follow up appointment with my doc Tuesday morning.   My 6 week post op check, though technically today was the 6 week day.  It felt good to go get all checked out.  My scars are healing nicely, there's just one place where it's not quite healing like I would wish.

On Tuesday when I went to my doctor's appointment, morning came too early.  I basically had to run Jake to school, and keep going.  I'm reminded of the line from the movie Airplane, "He never has a second cup of coffee at home."  Well, sometimes Yes I do.  I didn't today though.  I took my last Ningxia Nitro for the road.   This is such good stuff, lots of antioxidants and vitamin goodness, and the green tea extract gives me a tiny punch of caffeine.  

When I went in to the doctor, she liked the look of my scars.  The last bit is healing.  I've been putting on topical antibiotic in the spots where the wound is open, but I use my Essential Oils around the edges.   I created a roller with Sandlewood, Lavender, Helichrysum, and Myrrh.  My skin loves it.  I have to leave the stitchy areas alone because I just want to keep picking at them. I'm wise enough to stay away from the open areas.  It's not bleeding, it's just weepy, just enough to be annoying.  I used up all my boob pads, and actually had to go out last week and pick up more gauze pads after using up all of Christopher's.  It's still a bit scabby for my comfort.  One just covered over this weekend, so that's a good sign.  I just hope they clear up before we go to Great Wolf with my Mom and the girls next weekend.  The doc says it should.  I need to be able to Swim! She also doesn't want to see me again until next year, woohoo!  It was a brief appointment, just quick enough for her to take a look and ask how I was feeling.  She says I've got the OK to exercise too.  Excellent. I'd been pushing my walking limits a bit too, we hit the Children's Museum.   But now I'm pretty much done with my post op, and as soon as that last bit closes up, I'll be all set. 

I chatted with Lisa on the drive north, and afterwards gave her a call.  We agreed to meet for lunch.  

Lisa suggested the Thai place just off Main St in Carmel.  It was a gorgeous day, so we opted to sit outside.  Though it must've been a good 15 degrees cooler in the shade. I got downright chilly.  So I tried some Chrysanthemum Tea.  It's a lightly flowery tea, but heavy on the honey.  I love it!  I drank a pot and a half. Lisa wouldn't let me take her picture though, so no sister selfies on this day.  Still, I like to remember when we get the opportunity to get together, especially when I'm child free.  She was borrowing a friend's little girl, but that was much easier to handle one than um, 5, like usually happens when we get together.   It was good to sit and chat over tea and noodles.  I can't wait until we go on vacation over Fall Break together.  It should be a lot of fun! 

So now that I've graduated from the doc, yesterday, I went to kick it up at the Y.  I hadn't been in so long.  I felt like it was finally safe enough that I got the OK to exercise.  

Day 1, week 1 Couch 2 5K. Done!

Check it out: I can see my feet when I run!  This is new. 

This never happened with my old boobs. ;) 

And I broke a sweat.  

It felt good.  

Time to get back to getting serious. Sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I am determined to get healthy again! 

6 weeks out

Now it's my turn, Mama is gonna blog a bit.  It's been a very Go Go Go couple of weeks, and I am grateful to just sit and chill a bit.

It's been 6 weeks since my surgery.   I can't believe.  It has really flown by since the third week.  I guess I've been feeling good enough to finally get out and Do Things!  Hooray for finally getting out of the house!

Lisa gave me this shirt a couple years ago, I was nursing Jacob and it didn't go over my boobs at all.  I kept thinking, it will eventually fit when I stop nursing.  Nope.   

But today is a Beautiful day, nice and warm, the First Day of Fall.  

So the  First Day of Fall calls for a Drinkie!   

A Pumpkin Macchiato.  

I didn't know we could do that, a carmel macchiato with pumpkin. Yowza!  

And it's a Good Time to go see Friends!  

I got to hold little Alexis Jane, John John's little sister.   

She sat up pretty well, so it didn't hurt me much to hold her!  

It felt pretty good to hold a baby again.  It feels a lot different with my new chest, like there are less places for a baby to snuggle into.  

I was talking to my sister, and she suggested I take a bra picture with one of my old bras, to give an indication of what my bra size Used to be.  It used to be so big, that not only did many of my cute shirts not fit, but big enough that my family members would put a cup on their head like a hat.  Yeah, not only were my boobs bigger than my baby's head, but bigger than my own!  Lisa double dog dared me to do it to myself, to compare contrast the old bras with the new.  So I debated it, but have decided to go ahead and share it here with just you guys.   Enjoy the Laugh!  

The Wall

It's been 5 weeks since my Surgery.  I meant to take a picture of myself on the 11th, one month since my surgery.  But instead, we were in Ohio for my Uncle's funeral.  No good opportunity for pictures.

And that's OK.  This pic was last Thursday.  I don't have any other pictures of me from my 1 month Boobiversary.  I'm behind the camera usually, not in front of it.  I'd gotten home from my first run to Ohio late Wednesday night.   My Mother and other Uncle and Sister were getting sick by Thursday.  I loaded up on all my Immune System boosters, particularly my last bottle of Ningxia Red.  I do not want to get sick!  I've been loading up in Inner Defense and drinking my Ningxia, and blasting Thieves.  I feel like I've spent the last month entirely out of commission.  Useless.  I don't want to be Useless anymore.
I have only so much energy.  It's become a Choice.  Do I want to do the dishes or go to the store?  I have to choose.  Doing both doesn't work.  I hate that I'm good at this sort of prioritization.   I got a lot of Experience at this when I was on bedrest for 5 months.
Meanwhile, in other news of my recovery.  My gaps are finally beginning to close.  I've spent the last two weeks slathering on oils.  I made a Fantastic blend of Helichrysum, Myrrh, Lavender, and Sandlewood with a splash of Young Living's V6 carrier oil blend.  This Scar Prevention Blend is Awesome.  Totally Expensive, like 3 top the most expensive side of things, but oh man, my skin just sucks it up, like a sponge.   And this week it started to get itchy, scabs had formed.  This is a good sign!
I am getting a bit more stamina, enough to think I can do things, like go to the store. I can do a few more things, I keep trying.  But I have to be careful with my arms, like if I reach up for a grab, but no elbows.  I reach out with my whole arm and that activates the areas underneath, and that hurts.  So  I have tiny T-rex arms. I can't reach across the table without stabbing pain underneath my armpits. I can feel the scar tissue thickening around the scars, and I just keep pushing.  I keep pushing until I hit the Wall.  The Wall is where my body tells me I'm Done.  I went to Kroger this week, by myself, for the first time in over a month.  "Heavy labor like shopping".  Pushing that full car the last couple rows, and to the car was a lot.  I got home, unloaded, and I was done.  I couldn't move any more.  I shut down.  I had enough energy to grab Jacob, come home, and nap with him.  Good thing, he's so compliant on napping with me during the week. On the weekends, I make sure Daddy is around to make sure he doesn't get into trouble while I sleep.  Otherwise he naps with me.  He's so good to me, he makes my recovery easier.  And I am getting better, slowly but surely.

Firsts

It's the first day of a new month, and I have a lot of great ideas for this month.  Last month, I created an Oily Group of friends and we drank water, 1/2 our weight in ounces per day.  Considering the month I had, the fact that I stuck with it for most of the month was huge. I think it's helped my recovery significantly.

Yesterday, I went to the doctor a checkup.  They took a look at my wounds. This is where it gets a little graphic.    Most of my stitching is closed up, dry, a little scabby still in a couple places, but mostly looks good. There's a seam where three points meet on each side, and it wasn't looking good in my mind.  It wasn't bloody or smelly, just moist, and had the potential to worsen.  I've been putting Neosporin on it, and covering it with Chris's old feeding tube gauzies.  (HA!  Handy to have all these supplies around the house.)   And I've been using Essential Oils everywhere else that's sealed up.
The nurse told me it looked ok, that just happens sometimes when the body wants to break down the dissolvable stitches, and can't so much like a splinter it gets distracted trying to push it out, which is counter productive to healing up the wound.  So she gave me this insulation stuff, to put in there and cover with a gauzy.  The insulation stuff gets gooey when wet and kind of seals up the wound.   I am supposed to change that every 24 hours. So I am!  
I probably will not be changing sizes much more at this point.  There is still some swelling, but we're pretty well established.  I can Go Shopping!   I still can't swim or take a hot bath (Darn!) especially while the wounds are open.   But I am excited about the opportunity to buy a cheap crappy bra at Walmart, or hit the summer ending sales on swimwear.  That sounds like a lot of fun.
She also said I could sleep on my side again! That was another biggie.  Because I was out of my happy drugs.  I wanted either the ok to sleep on my side, or New Drugs.  Because I was out of the neurotin, and if I broke out the narcotics, they were only good at keeping me sleeping on my back for 4 hours.   I wondered if it was ok to use my Sleep Essence, my Oily sleep supplement.  She gave me the ok to restart that too!  Hot dog!  

The nurse also said I could sleep with no bra.   

She lied. 

I did not sleep with no bra.  I tried.  I tossed and turned uncomfortably for 2 1/2 hours.   I hadn't taken any drugs, just used oils, and it wasn't quite cutting it.  So I put my bra back on at 2 am, and slept much better after that.  That was helpful. This pic is me in jammies with no bra.   My boobs are not hanging by my belly button, and my nightshirts look downright cute.   I am kind of enjoying putting all my old clothes on  and seeing how they fit.   Still, I didn't sleep well.  I found enough energy (in the form of coffee) to get moving for a big day today though!

Mommy's first big adventure outside the house.  

We went Apple Picking with Jacob's Preschool!  

Jacob's favorite part was picking one and being able to eat it right away.  

He picked one, and would've been perfectly content to go home.  

Jacob hadn't been Apple Picking in a while, since the last time we went with Sam 2 years ago.

And he wasn't an active picker then.  So I had to break him in. 

Yes, I corrupted him. 

I taught him how to climb a tiny tree.  

Though I can't lift him, I can spot him.  So I helped spot him right up into this great gala tree.  

He climbed to where his head was almost a smidge taller than me.  

And he giggled with pride.  

Me and my Big Boy! 

This was our selfie from inside the apple tree. <3

That was Plenty of Adventure for me for a while. 

I sat on a bench while he played, and we shared an apple cider slushie.  

I was a little bummed I didn't pick enough apples to make sauce.   But realistically, I'm still recovering.  I can't do it all.  And Canning would've been too much.  It was enough to just play with a sweetboy on a Beautiful day.  It was in the 70s, it had cooled off enough for us to enjoy the weather.  I think because it wasn't too hot and gross I was able to enjoy myself more.  

Check me out.  

I walked a mile.  And drank 1/2 my weight in water.  Grr! 

And I did so, as a member of the 21st Century, listening to the Hamilton Soundtrack on my phone. 

Do you know Alexander Hamilton? 

It rocks.  

And I broke a sweat.  Sweating is a new experience with my new bosom.  I don't automatically get a heat rash every time I break a sweat.   The feeling was just different.  A little over half way around my scars started to sting, so I knew I was definitely pushing my limits to go all the way around the block to home, for the full mile.  I came home, slathered up in Oils, and then ran out to a PSG meeting, and Book Club.  

Then I got to go to Book Club with the gals, and got my First Pumpkin Spice latte of the season. 

I appreciate my friend A taking this pic of me.  I'm still a little self concious of my bosom.   

But as you can see, I still naturally put my arms in front of my boobs to hide them.  I didn't realize I even did this.   But I do.  I even still do, especially when the kids want a hug.  I gotta protect this region, it's still all pretty tender.  I love hugs, but I have to hug side saddle.  

I can't wait to let my arms go do their thing.  I just want to be a little smaller, and get things all healthy for a more complete picture.  That's why I'll be working harder this month at moving.  But I don't want to over do it. I got the ok to walk, just not jostle, so no running... Yet.   

Stripping down

I removed my own steristrips today.  They were starting to peel last week, so while Grandma took Jake to Kindermusik (that's way more lifting and bouncing than I'm allowed to do) I opted to shower.  Before I did so, though, I noticed that my strips were starting to peel off.  One fell off in my hand.  And they'd been driving me nuts with the itching, so I just pulled them off.

Are you a Peeler?   In my family, when we'd get sunburned, we'd sit and peel the peels off each other.  It sounds kind of weird.  But when your back  is all itchy and the skin is peeling, it's so comforting to have someone who loves you like a sister who will sit and pull the big flakes off of you.  Anyway, we're pickers and peelers.  And frankly, it's been really difficult for me to be a compliant patient.  I haven't taken any hot baths.  I'm sleeping on my back.  It's taking me a lot of drugs to do so... but at least I'm only taking them at night.   And I haven't even been using my Oils on the open wounds, just everywhere else.

See?!  Compliance.

Meanwhile, here's what I've been doing.  

Not much. 

This past weekend, my mother in law took the boys Friday night into Saturday night.  Eric was gone overnight to Serve on Team for the Via de Cristo.   Good for him!   But the timing was a little iffy.   I was thankful Mom took the boys for a slumber party.  Friday night was Quiet.  But not any more unusual than any other evening.  Eric usually takes the boys upstairs... and I don't see them.  The goodbyes were just earlier.  

I got caught up on my temperature blanket.  Yippee.  I know how to get crazy.   

A quiet cup of coffee just for me. 

The weirdest thing was Saturday morning.  I slept until 9:30!  

And I'd gone to bed about 11.  That's like almost 11 hours of sleep for me.  Drugged.  So pretty uninterrupted.  And no one hopped into bed.  I can't remember the last time I slept until I naturally woke up in my own home, alone.  It was weird.  But nice.  I see why Eric does productive things when I take the boys out of town.  The mornings in a big quiet house are disconcerting.   There was no one around to bug me while I had my coffee.  It was nice and weird all at the same time.   I didn't make a proper breakfast, Eric usually makes it for me.  But he had apparently programmed the coffee maker before leaving yesterday, because the pot was still warm when I got home.  How sweet! 

But it didn't stay that way for long.  The boys got home just in time for naptime.  I was grateful that Chris did his flush, Sam hung out quietly in the basement.  And Jake napped with me.  Grandma and Aunt Teri had Worn Him Out!    

Then Eric came home with just enough time to spare to grab Sam and head to my Dad's house.  
They had been gifted with the opportunity to go to a Colts Game with my Dad and Stepmom.   It was Sam's first Game.  He did Wonderfully, and had a great time!
Jake, Chris, and I stayed home, drove thru McDonald's for Cheeseburgers, and then ate in front of watching The Last Unicorn.   "Shmendrick is With You!"

My big accomplishment for today... I drove with Jacob. 

I wanted an Arby's Brown Sugar Bacon BLT.  So I drove and got one.  

That was an accomplishment.  And that was enough.  

Still quietly recovering.... slowly, but surely. 

   

Post op 1 week!

It's been a Week since my surgery.  I've been pretty gorked out for most of that time.  I consider my husband a lucky man, since I only made him take two days off.  I've been also Blessed this week that people have been bringing us food.   Last night, a friend forgot, and he turned around and ordered pizza, then brought us the pulled pork he promised last night, again for tonight.  We'll be good for a few days now.  I'm so Thankful that people have been bringing food.  Although I've gotten a bit further away from Eric having to do everything for me, he still needs to be my Gopher sometimes.  He writes down all the times and dosages for my drugs, though I've been getting away from taking the hearty narcotics by day.  The neurotin seems to be enough.  It makes me sleep and relaxed, but not as stupid.  I can be home with Jacob that way.  My Dad brought Jacob home from school today for me.  So I just rested.  I'd planned on napping. But I also missed having an afternoon nap yesterday by napping too long in the morning.  It's pretty exciting that although I just rested, I didn't sleep, so that I could nap with Jacob.   He and I nap good.  If napping was an Olympic sport, I'd be a medalist.

 Princess was by my side.  

Isn't she the sweetest.   

She is such a good girl.  She steals my pillow that is supposed to be supporting my arm. 

I don't mind so much.  

She's ready for her Close-up!

Prinny has been doing a great job of keeping me company, and just staying close. 

She's a good comfort, and a cuddlebug. 

OK, since it's been a week, here's something for all four of you following to get a big kick out of:

Before/After shots

Yes, I wore the same clothing, for a better comparison.

OK, I gotta say, I am pretty impressed at how perky I am now.  I love that my bosom is now up above my elbows, that's a new development.  Ha ha!  I could make boob jokes all day! 

Day 6 - An Itchy Mess

I am Itchy!

I'm reminded of that little old lady from The Neverending Story, "It's got to hurt if it's to heal!"  The skin on my chest is very itchy.  I slathered the whole thing down in Lavender this afternoon! I figure it's a good thing to be annoyingly itchy.  I'm not sure if it's the drugs or the healing.  But I have to be very careful when I scratch.  I don't want to hurt the skin or rip a stitch, so I try to scratch with the tabs of my fingers.  But sometimes in my stupor, I forget.  Forgetting hurts.   But so far I haven't really hurt myself.
I also napped wrong.  I Chose Unwisely. 1 nap a day is better.  I feel like a baby or a toddler transitioning from a 2 nap day to 1.   And I need some help with the organization and arrangement of naps.  Ugh.  I try to hold out until afternoon.  Most of this weekend, I napped twice a day.  But now on my own, I am trying to hold out until Jacob is ready to nap too.  
This morning, I slept from 10:30-1 while my Mother in Law took Jacob for a while and returned him exhausted after lunch. Only, I was wide awake.  There was no second nap for me... even though I waited until now to put Jake down.  He fell asleep.  I watched his beautiful eyelids get droopy.  I closed mine too.  But there was no sleeping.  Jacob is so sweet to watch sleep.  He gets all warm, and his hair curls, and I know my days are numbered while he sleeps with me as well as when he's going to nap at all.  He's growing too fast.

My chest looks weird.  Frankenboobs.  That's the nickname I've given myself.  My sister says that Frankenboobs is my character in The Nightmare before Breastmas.

The edges of the Steri-strips are curling.  This is under my arm.    

I debated posting this pic and my nickname.  But I was in a challenge where we were to take a reflection picture.  So I took this, in reflection. It's the only way I can see what's going on, is to use a mirror.   There's a lot of bruising, so I'm using Melrose as well as Helichrysum and Panaway.  It really looks icky, but not in an infected way, but weird.  It's not sexy, but I can see how it will heal.  And the healing is good.    

Day 5 - My first post op checkup

I wore a seat belt today.

And that belt fell between my boobs naturally just as God intended.

Who knew?!

That was just one of the little things that I learned today. 

I like being able to see my toes when I walk. <3

I'm sorry it's not a very good picture, but I was barely holding it together as we drove.  It was my first time out of the house.   My father in law was kind enough to drive Jake and I up to Carmel for the appointment.  Jake slept all the way.  I did not.  In fact, highway riding is rather nauseating.  Don't think I'll do that again voluntarily for another while.  I prefer to ride like a little old lady... slow.  My goal is to drive myself somewhere around Brownsburg sometime by the end of the week.  But this was not that day.  

I also learned that going from Two naps to No naps is no good.  I took no pain relievers today.  I did that so that I would be coherent enough to remember what the doctor told me.  I remember very little of what she said last Thursday.  She asked me if I was showering entirely with my back facing the stream in the shower?  Whoops.   Was I using a hair dryer to dry the steristrips after showering?  Whoops.  Nope.  I've been using Lavender soap on my shoulders and rinsing so things get cleaned all the way down.  Then patting dry with a clean towel, boobs first for no contamination.  No rubbing, just a pat dry, then air dry before I start padding up.  I've been using my old Nursing Pads (man, I knew I saved them for some reason!) as nip covers.  Handy that!
Today I slathered up in PanAway around my stitchy places this morning.  I had a friend come over and bring my coffee, and she stayed and chatted a while.  Then Stacey came to help out with the house, and we chatted a while.  Then my mother in law came, bringing Jacob home from Preschool, and guess what, we chatted a while.  I got no morning nap.  I used my morning rest time, chatting with friends and loved ones.  I liked being able to do so.  And with special thanks to E and Starbucks, I was having a fine time doing so.   But then about 1 I started to crash.  But by then it was too late.  My appointment was at 2, there was no nap in my future.  So I drank some Ningxia Red, and geared up to go see the doctor.  But I missed our afternoon nap too.   And that was too much.  I was exhausted.   I am feeling much better, striving to push to my limits every day so I don't regress much.  But in this case, cutting all naps was a mistake.   At least I got by with Oils.
I have been using my Oils on my chest, but not directly on the wounds.  And the doctor said they all look good.  I liked that!  When I went to the doctor, the nurse removed some stitches and a large glob of glue taking a layer of skin with it.  That wasn't fun.  They had removed the bolster gauze pad holding my newly transplanted nipple, or nip guard as I was referring to it, and put some kind of relective gauze with bacitracin on me.  She said it was like the inside of a bandaid. But it wasn't I think the worst thing was that whatever kind of bandage they put on me, started itching.  By this evening, I felt so white trash, itching and wanting just desperately to scratch.  I touched gently with fingertips just to get a bit of relief, but not a full on scratch.  I didn't want to undo all the healing.  They removed a couple stitches under my arms, which actually are giving me a bit of relief with regard to contact with the bra.  But I'm still So Itchy.  I know it's good and all to get a bit itchy, means that the nerves are starting to heal.  And healing is Good.  But I hate being itchy.  I've been putting on Lavender and Melrose around the areas today, careful not to mess with the stitches or steristrips to combat that a bit.  And I'm really trying to be a compliant patient.  But I couldn't take anymore, and ended up peeling off that bandaid tonight, there were red squares where it was on my chest.  Whatever they put on me, I reacted to it.  Forget that!  So  I wound up slathering up a pair of Chris's old feeding tube gauzies in neosporin and using them instead.   Part of me would much rather use some of my Oily compounds, like my Cuts and Butts, or Rose Ointment.  But I want to be compliant.   So I'll use my Young Living stuff once the wounds are sealed and closed.  But I can use them around the wounds in the mean time.  At least Lavender helps with the itching, for now.  It just relaxes and refreshes me, so I have to watch how much I put on near bedtime or naptime.  For bedtime tonight, it's Melrose and Helichrysum.  Man, I love that Helichrysum.  My sample is getting low, but my new bottle should arrive on Thursday.  Come on Thursday!
Meanwhile I still am not firing on all thrusters, when I found out this evening that my plans had unexpectedly changed, I burst into tears.  Perhaps exhausted, plus a tad hormonal isn't working in my favor.  Blessedly, I had a friend stop by with food, more perfect timing, and my husband is wonderful, and supportive, and offered to bail me out if we needed him to, luckily, I don't think I will need him to do so.  I'm not quite comfortable driving, nor being home alone all day yet with Jacob.  Jake has way too much energy for this slow little old lady.
We are Blessed to have lots of Friends and Fam who have offered to help us out, and like today, they contact me at the Perfect Time, so that even in my time of tears, I know how much we are Loved.  Thank you All!

Day 4 post op or blogging more

I guess I can do more blogging time, since that's about all I feel like doing.  The weather this evening has been a hot mess.  But that gives me an opportunity to brag a bit about my amazing boys.

This is how I spent most of my day.  

My cohort in crime.  

He was threatening to tickle me.  Again.  

When Christopher came home from school, he asked me what Jacob and I did.  I quote, "We watched cartoons, then Grandma took him to Kindermusik while I napped, then he came home and we had lunch and watched more cartoons, then we napped together, then we watched more cartoons."  TV, it's the sick Mama's lifesaver.  Jacob loves Clifford, Octonauts, and a new show called Animal Mechanicals that he loves, that he found on Netflix.  I'm not a fan, so we watched more Octonauts and Clifford.  Lots of Octonauts.  I think Peso's my favorite.  It's a sad day when you can pick a favorite Octonaut and you and the toddler exchange rocking Kwazii impressions.  (By the way, the toddler wins, every time.) 

Then this evening, another one of our friends brought supper for us, making life a smidge easier.   Bless her! 

As Eric and I sat nibbling our dessert, the boys went to play downstairs, and we heard a funny noise.  Could it be, the tornado alarm?  In August?  As it turns out, Yes, Yes it was.  

We watched the news, and as it turned out a lovely wall cloud with a hook was headed our way, a funnel had been spotted in Danville.  So I watched the sky.  One minute the wind was whipping and it was raining, the next it stopped.  OK, stoppage is scary, and then the power blipped.  So we all went downstairs to wait it out.  By that time though the kids were freaking out.   Chris was very concerned we were all going to die because there's a window in the basement.  Even Jacob was freaking out, yelling "Mommy!  A towado is coming a get us!"  Not really boo. But since I felt we all needed to go downstairs, I grabbed the dog and sugar.  The dog was disinclined to come down, so she hung out on the stairs.  

I told the boys this was a Practice.  We were having our own Tornado Drill.  We go in the basement, and we eat lollipops.  I figured by the time our lollipops were done, the scare would be over.  It was.  

And we were fine.  Daddy has built us a good strong house.  It missed our neighborhood, knocked down some trees across town, but Blessedly, all I know were ok.   Even the trees downed were kind enough to take out any people or houses on their way.   I say we were like the Three Little Pigs in the Brick House.  It's going to take a pretty big bad wolf tornado to blow our house down.  We're pretty Blessed in that department too.  Eric really did build us a Great House.  I felt totally safe and comfortable in that basement.  

My only mistake was sugaring the kids up with lollipops at 7 at night.  They were wound!  

We were entertained for the next hour with episodes from Star Wars: The Crazy Wars.    

Honestly, that wasn't so bad either.  They're pretty funny.  Eric missed most of the ones I was entertained by last summer.   So he got a big dose last night.  Here's one to share with you all.  

Enjoy.  

Day 3 - Off the narcotics

I'm trying to wean off the drugs, only took Neurotin today, which apparently still makes me a little floopsy.  I wanted to try to get off the hydrocodone by day, during the day, while Eric was home.
That way if I got in a bad way, I'd still have Eric home to help me out.  He really is my Voice of Reason.  I am still taking them at night, because frankly, I am not cut out to sleep on my back all night long, and I find if I'm not drugged as I sleep the desire to roll over wakes me in pain where my stitches are if I'm not drugged into immobility.  On the upside, being drugged makes me sleep all night on my back, which is what they want anyway.   During the day, I like to nap in my little upstairs recliner.   It's hard to roll over there too.

I got dressed.  In clothes! 

This cute little bra is looking more and more natural on me.  

I'm getting used to it.  And I really enjoy the way some of my trusted T's fit on me now. 

As with many things that I attempt lately, I got dressed, and had to take a nap.  I got up, had lunch, and had to take a nap.  Luckily, having Eric around meant that I got rest freely, and I took full advantage of that.   I am seriously digging my re-establishment of the art of the two nap day.  

The roses that Jacob picked out for me opened up very prettily too. 

This shot rocks.  It's my new favorite.  Even though the edges aren't as crisp as they could be.  A. I'm on drugs, but B. It gives it a kind of artsy look I didn't intend, but I totally dig.  So Boom, Baby. 

A new favorite.  

The theme for today from my Photo a Day was Kitchen.  Mine is kind of a mess, because we aren't exactly feeling up to doing much within it.  But at the same time, it's kind of Lovely that way. 

A friend brought us dinner tonight, a homemade morrocan cous-cous.  I didn't think to take pictures of it, but I wish I had.  It was simple and scrumptious, a bed of cous cous topped with hunks of beef and veggies.   There were some mild spices like ginger, saffron, and maybe a smidge of turmeric and cinnamon.  Scrumptious, and we didn't have to do anything but have wonderful friends.  

We really are Blessed.  

Day 2 Post op aka Tiny T-rex arms

All my painkillers wore off this morning.   So, THIS is what it feels like.  Ouch.  I mean, I'm glad I slept through the night and all, sleeping on my back is hard.  But oy.
I took another hydrocodone, which promptly made me nauseous.  And the neurotin adds to the swirliness, and makes my mind kind of flaky.  But I think that's the one that helps me most.  I notice most when that one is about to wear off.

So today, I got the full experience of what the next few weeks is going to feel like, where I can only use my hands and wrists.  Whatever they gave me in hospital is now gone.  So I now just have me.  Bending my elbows is about as much as my arms can handle.  They get very angry if I try to use my shoulders.  Last night, I made the mistake of turning on the lamp on my nightstand.  That was unwise!

When I wash my hands I have to turn gently wash one arm at a time because reaching both was too much.

Then also ty I took a shower. That was big step on progress today.  It felt good to use soap in my hair.  Like Really Good.  I had to be careful not to soak my stitching too much.  Eric kept popping in, and saying, Don't Take Too Long!   I didn't.

I put fresh pajamas on.  I have a pair of Spongebob jammies my mother in law gave me years ago, when she lost weight.   They say Squeeze Me Please, which isn't really funny at this time.  I actually dislike Spongebob immensely, but these jammies are so soft.  So I wear them anyway.  They hang Completely Differently now.  And I like it.  

Check it out, I have cleavage. 

I have cleavage that I didn't have to squish anything together to create.  

They are all up there and perky.  I think they might've been like that in like 8th grade, before they really busted out.  It's kind of cool.  

Christopher went to Black Belt board today. Now that he is a Black Belt, he is allowed to be on the Review Board for anyone taking the Black Belt Test.  He went and observed for almost 4 hours. He is so big. He's been very gentle with me, and a source of calm.  I love this smile.  After his day, he asked to watch Eragon the movie, for Family Movie Night.  We hadn't done anything like that since the Olympics started.  But I figured he earned it. 

Now while we were watching our movie, my phone buzzed. My friend E was literally on my doorstep. And she brought me chocolate. I had been craving chocolate. And she brought chocolate.  And all was good.  Because there was chocolate.

Day 1 post op

I'm a very lucky gal. Having Eric stay home with me has been great.  He will bring me whatever I need, he's been tracking my drugs so I only have missed a dose once and that was because I was asleep.

Jacob wouldn't let me sleep.  He has so much energy, that I just can't handle it.  Even though I was drugged to the hilt this morning, I couldn't sleep with all his noise.  So I asked Eric to take him to the store.  Yesterday was payday, and we were out of a few things.  The funny thing was that my sister had asked Eric last night to write down a few grocery items for her to pick up.  Unfortunately, I couldn't wait for her kindness.  I needed sleep. 

This was how I spent most of the day.  

Princess is very happy that I've built up the pillows on the upstairs couch.   I slept there last night.  I have to sleep on my back, so I thought I'd be most comfortable on the couch.  I felt productive not waking Eric in the night and going to the bathroom all by myself.  Princess has found the spot next to me to be her spot.  She stayed there most of the night, and as it turned out, most of the day too. 

 So Eric took Jake to the store, and this was what I woke up to later.  Jacob brought me flowers!   

Apparently, while they were at Trader Joe's, Jacob went up and told Eric that I NEEDED Pink Roses.  Pink Roses.  Not only was he able to say them, but to identify them.  He knew I needed them.  I guess he was right, because seeing this sweetheart bring me flowers warmed my gorked up heart.  

Absolutely enchanting.  

So after a few hours, I decided to take off my clothes that I'd slept in since the night before.  I changed into fresh clothes and slathered up in Helichrysum and Lavender.  Yesterday I really needed my Frankincense to calm my nerves before the surgery.  Afterwards, I was so Queasy I only wanted Peppermint and AromaEase.  Today, I have fallen in love with Helichrysum.  

My sister and Ma gave me a sample of this oil when I visited earlier this week.  This stuff is magical.  It has some mild painkilling properties, but the real thing it's used for is the Circulatory system.  I've been slathering it up every couple hours, and it takes the edge off the nerve pain too.  I've heard of people using it to stop bloody noses, or in their First Aid kits.   It was Out Of Stock when I needed to get it, so I had to get a sample from Lisa and Mommy.   Thank Goodness they were willing to share.  This is an expensive oil.  Luckily, as I was falling in love with this herby awesomeness, it came back into stock today.  So I totally pushed through an order, wherein I ordered my own bottle of Helichrysum.  I probably shouldn't be allowed to shop when on all these drugs, but I figured it was ok, since I was cashing in points for freebies, so I only spent $10 on shipping.  Good deal for me! Woohoo!  

So this is me. Check it out, my belly button is nowhere near where my bosoms hang now.  They point up.  I put some Lavender on all my skin when I was changing.  My bra that they sent me home in, is really cute. I decided I like it.  The whole look is cute.  Guess I don't need quite as much support as I'm used to now, things are pretty tightly bound in there.  My nips are so padded they look pointy like something out of a 1960s movie. I feel like Ann Margaret in Bye Bye Birdie.  Except she could squish things together, and there's no squishing here.  No squishing at all. 

The side shot.  Sorry for the graphic-ness, but I know a couple of you want to see.  My belly sticks out a bit below my bosom, but not enough to look pregnant, I don't think.  I actually think it looks good.  I can't believe how normal my chest looks.  I hadn't realized how big things had looked or gotten, or how often my shirts had so much to cover.  Even my pajamas hang much better on me now.  They look really cute.  And already, though I am having plenty of pain at the stitch sites, my shoulders feel like a burden has been lifted.  The doctor called to check in on me.  They took off 5 1/2 pounds!  Can you believe that?!  My niece weighed that much.  I lost a whole niece in one day. 

For a splash of productivity, this evening, I went outside for a walk. Granted, it was just to the mailbox and back.  Still, I felt it. It was the furthest I've moved in two days, and it was pushing my limits.  How else will I find my limits if I don't push them?

I had Surgery

If Boob talk bothers you, don't read this.  

Aren't I stylish?  

I reported to the Surgery Center at 9:30 am after dropping Jacob off at Preschool. I was lucky to get the boys off to school.  We had explained to them what I was going to do.  They knew that Mommy was going to get her breasts fixed, so that they didn't hurt her back and shoulders as much.  They understood that we were going to have to be very careful about hugs and touching after Mommy's surgery.  We had some Surgery paperwork to fill out, then they brought me back to suit up.  I got a gown and hairnet, socks and compression stockings.  Then we got serious.  They put an IV in my arm. It took 3 times to find a good spot.  I was worried that I might be a hard stick since having Jacob.  Turns out I still am.  At first I'd asked that they let me keep my wrists and elbows functional, so that I could still crochet.  They did. I kept singing the Veggie Tales song, "Sport Utility Vehicle" while they dug in my arm.   The second nurse found a spot on top of my arm, just an inch below my elbow, so I could still work my yarn.  That was good, since then we sat there in that pre-op room for over an hour, just waiting.  That made me nervous. More nervous.  I had been ok at home, but this was getting real.   My nurse told me it was good to be nervous.  That's Normal.  She worries about people that come in all pumped up and happy to have plastic surgery, that's unusual.  OK, I'm normal.  Catastrophizing is normal.  OK Good.  

OK, this was my most graphic shot that I'm going to share with you.  My top view after she drew on me.  X marks the boob that was larger, she knew she was going to have to take a little more off that one. To me, it looked like Easter Eggs.  Easter Eggs that they were going to be removing the bottom off of.  The marks are where they were going to cut.  

I remember being rolled into the OR, and moving to a skinny table.  The lamp above me had a pretty teal rim, I remember commenting on that.  They put a warm blanket on me, and turned on the compression stockings.  That was a weird feeling, cool breeze from coming on, and warm blanket.  They buckled my legs down. They had me stretch my arms to pin me down, just like my c-sections and we joked this was not 50 shades of anything.  I looked at my hands, and  I remember the nurse unbuttoning the right shoulder of my gown... and that's all.

I remember being hot when I woke up.  Eric says I was silly, but he didn't videotape me, he only texted my sister, saying that I was awake,ok and saying "Izzawful Hotinhere".  It was.  They had those compression things on my legs, they were annoying.  Finally they took them off, but they wouldn't let me just sleep.  I was thirsty.  They gave me ice.  I was thirsty.  I finally talked them into water.  And as soon as I got water down, they were dressing me and shoving me out the door.  I was apparently, the last surgery of the day.  So I got dressed, thrown in a chair, and rolled to my car.  Moving that fast made me really queasy.  Eric had a spare plastic bag for me to yak in.  He assured me the process took hours for recovery and waking.  It didn't feel like that.  I felt like the whole world was zooming by way too fast.  I remember begging him, please drive like an old lady all the way home so I won't puke.

We made it home and I didn't puke.  When we got home, Mom W. was here with all the boys.  They didn't rush to me or run me down, like I thought they would.  Grandma kept them upstairs and brought them down one at a time for me to love.  That was nice.  They were gentle.

I started to feel really sleepy and queasy.  Mom and Aunt Teri stayed with me, while Eric went on the drug run.  They even made sure the boys got all bathed and cleaned up too.  There are many drugs.  And Eric has been very good about making sure I got them on regular timed schedule.  We didn't want to risk getting behind on pain.  He's a champ.  I've been feeling fine.

The boys curled up and spent some time with me.  

Me and my Sams.  

He was so gentle, just touching my arm, no risk of touching my chest.  

Christopher was my calmer.  He's been here done this.  He's a post surgery pro.  After getting his jammies on he just laid down with me.  He took good care not to touch any areas that were sensitive.  

OK, this is my After shot.  I sent this to my sister.  I haven't opened the bra to see what's going on underneath.  I have vague recollections of the doctor showing me where stitches were and what  not to get wet.  Again, very vague.  Boy, am I Thankful that Eric was and is here for me.  

I won't and I will

I won't miss hot summers, and the heat rash that comes with it.

I won't miss having to apply deodorant underneath them Every Single Day, and twice a day in summer.

I won't miss suffocating when I do downward facing dog in Yoga class.

I won't miss the pain associated with running, or any bouncing type exercise.

I won't miss being able to look down and not see my toes.   (I just slammed my toe into the kid's trampoline last night and thought I broke it, but turns out, I 'only' cut it and split the toenail.)  I miss seeing my feet when I walk.

I won't miss requiring a hot bath to soak my aching back and shoulders because there's so much top weight.  Well, maybe I might miss this one.

I won't miss being so embarrassed by my body that I hide behind things and people in photographs.

I'll miss nursing.  (I do already.  I miss having a little baby and an easy fix to stop their crying.)

I'll miss being able to pick up Jacob for weeks.

I'll miss being able to sleep on my tummy.

I'll miss having babies curl up on my bosom to nurse.  (These things provided comfort and nourishment for 3 kids for over 5 years total. That's a lot.)

I'll miss being able to just ignore tank tops as a possibility for wardrobe choices.  They've Never fit me before.  That'll be weird.  I might have to adjust my thinking about them.  Nahh.

I confess I am getting a little nervous.