Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Little Tears


My heart and mind have been in other places the last few days. My body is falling apart, my endo is back, and its been stressing me out, besides being painful. Eric and I are looking at the possibilities of having surgery this year. Me for that. Him for these headaches, which is most likely caused by massive deep sinus infection.

The bravest woman I know, who I am honored to call friend, was having major surgery yesterday. I was literally praying without ceasing all day. She reports doing well. Please joining me in praying her recovery continues to go well.

But I had to get out of dodge. We're all so frazzled, sometimes having a plan is the best thing I can do. Sam and I drove up to visit my other friend Amy who moved out to the boonies last spring. I brought donuts and we drowned our sorrows in happy carbs, and we let the kids play. And it was good.

Amy has been borrowing a little baby, 8 weeks old for a while, and expecting her fourth. I thought it might be rough for me to be around itty bitties. But it really wasn't. So much cuteness made me feel good. I kept reaching out to hold her as she cried. She was just a wee slip of a thing, and she was getting a case of the snoochies, and couldn't get comfortable. It was so obvious she needed to sleep. Oh honey, don't I know that one. We've been rotating colds all winter long, and I could only sleep with drugs. At one point, she had been crying in spurts for a solid hour, she's cry herself to sleep, and as soon as her thumb shifted or a kid looked at her, she'd wake up and start crying. Finally she fell asleep on me.

With one little tear in her eye.

I didn't want to move. But you know, life has to continue. I was reminded how hard those days are, with the little itty bitty ones. On one hand, I don't want to move, want to freeze moments in time. Sam is so wonderful right now, I want him to stop getting older. I sit down to write about him, and I don't know where to begin.

On the other hand, all that screaming. I had a monster headache. I would have given anything to make it stop. Nope, don't miss that. But the bonus was I got to pack up and go home, I just got my sweet snuggle fix, and got to give her back. That was pretty good too.