Sunday, October 23, 2011

Circle of Life, Part 2

Some say we were crazy, loading up the 7 of us into our minivan and trekking two days each way to be in New York for a funeral for two days. Well to that I say a. you didn't know my Grandma, and b. We've always been Crazy.
Our family kept saying Thank You for coming, like it was some kind of great hardship, or a great sacrifice for us to come. Honestly, it wasn't. It wasn't that hard. I think we only debated for about 2 seconds, a minute tops. I didn't care how much it cost, we needed to be there. I had been too pregnant with Sam when Papa died, and I wanted to go to NY. Come to think of it, I'd been too pregnant with Chris when Grandpa Jim died, and I couldn't go to DC. I wasn't pregnant. By gum, I was going. And when Lisa's car situation made her own trip sketchy, in the same conversation, I said Ride with us. I didn't give any thought to logistics, they all just fell in to place. And it worked out.
In fact, in spite of the horrible circumstances, this adventure didn't suck. I guess I can say that, I don't want to say that a Funeral was Fun. But there were times that we laughed, and we did have a good time. We had fun remembering Grandma, we had fun visiting family we hadn't seen in years. And the kids, well, they were fun and funny so much of the time, it was impossible to let the sadness of the occasion take over. It really felt like as we got more and more emotionally drained, just about the time we'd start to wonder if we really were Bonkers for doing this, the kids would do something. I don't know if you all know this, but my children have Powers. Yes, superhero secret powers. Gifts. They'd be Cute. Or Say something funny. Or we'd see something beautiful, like trees on a hillside, showing off their fall color glory. And suddenly, it was all worth it. OK, not exactly Worth It, but they'd fill our empty sad hearts back up again and we could go on a few more hours.
I could/can/will post pictures of the Cuteness. But this evening has been rough. OK, this week has been rough. Suffice it to say that bringing the kids to the funeral was a good decision. It was worth every whine (and the wine). Having them with us, provided a Blessed Distraction. The Gifts the boys have is the ability to just know. They know when to be silly, and make someone laugh or smile when their heart is breaking. They know how to give Great Hugs. Having my kids at the funeral, helps me. I get distracted enough to not dwell in darkness too much. The miraculousness of my boys gives Hope to others. Well, having the girls with us kicked that up a notch. And when strangers marveled at our little crew of Crazy, 4 kids 5 and under, with all their beauty, and their sweetness, running wild with Joy of Life, I have no doubt bringing them was a good choice. Bringing them helped them understand God and Heaven, and to say Goodbye to Grandma Pat. But at the same time, it helped me. Bringing the kids helped me cope with the full circle. They are young, they are full of life, for anyone to see them running, smiling, and laughing, they could think of all the goodness the future has to offer. Yes, we were saying Goodbye to a great lady, an amazing women, but she lives on, her love lives on in the lives of these kids she loved. It's a full circle, we say goodbye, yet at the same time so many of our family were saying hello and falling in love with the next generation. Our kids may have driven us a little crazy this week, but they brought such Joy and Love, that just having them around made the whole week a little better.

I Thank God for them.