Wednesday, August 5, 2009

A Force to be reckoned with

Anger has been coming fast to me lately. I've been feeling like a volcano; sleepy quiet most of the time, but then something will come along, and bubble bubble BLAST! Kerplooey! I go like Mt. Vesuvius.
I've been like that most of my life. Though when I was younger, I think I was quiet for longer periods of time, and I'd put up with a lot more for a long time before finally blowing up at some silly camel back breaking straw. The last couple weeks I feel like my volcano is just full of lava, and it just doesn't take much to push me into exploding. It doesn't take much to push my buttons lately.

Christopher is particularly good at pushing my buttons.

Have I been tired? Sure. Is it the kids? Maybe. Sure, having two is a new thing for me, and it's all 'hard work' but some days, I feel GREAT! I Love It! Two sweet angel boys on my lap, and I think It doesn't get better than this. I can't wait to have another! Then comes about 4-5 p.m. when Chris and Sam both start getting ootsy, both screaming, or Chris throwing things in my face, disobeying when I'm nursing, and I can't handle either one of them, and all I do is sit on the couch and yell. Toss in there the periodic back pain and spasms and I'm just no fun at all.

Luckily this weekend, I got a break to recharge. Eric took me out on a DATE! Our first since before Sam was born. We took Chris AND Sam to his Mom's house, and we went and caught Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. We were itching to see it. Sam was up to a record, taking another bottle from Daddy, so we thought perhaps he'd be up to taking one from Grandma. I kept the phone on, but Grandma didn't call. As soon as the movie was over, we checked in, and Sam was sleeping Soundly and Chris was playing contentedly. So, we went to dinner, Eric wanted to try something new. We drove and found a place new to us, Roscoe's Tacos. I would say it's a mom and pop joint, but it's only Pop. Mexican with a southwest twist, reminded me of being in Wyoming, or one of those western states. The toppings had an excellently fresh taste, it was inexpensive, and they have a drive-thru, good to know for future reference. All in all, a great date night, and record for Mama being away from Sam. He did great, slept half of the 4 hours we were out, AND drank a bottle for them. Then conked out as soon as we got home.

Just when I started to get stressedly frazzled again on Monday, it was time for my bi-monthly Mom's Night Out with the gals at Applebee's. How lovely! It's been good for my mental health to get away. I think I've been a woman on the edge. I read somewhere that a gal that had post-partum depression said, I didn't realize how bad off I was until I started to feel better. I'm not saying it's been depression per se, just that I didn't realize how frazzled I was until I got a bit of a break.

That and there have some technically difficulties I didn't realize I had. Last week, I got new glasses! Apparently, my pregnancy and birth of Sam changed my eyesight. Unbeknownst to me, it got better! I'm now half the strength that I was. I thought I was having trouble with night vision, and reading and the computer making me want to take my glasses off. No. Apparently, it was that I was wearing Bad Glasses for my much better eyes. I put on my new glasses last week, and I was like driving along, going hmmm...I can read that sign...hmmm...I can see what it says on the dashboard. Didn't realize I couldn't.
Thusly motivated for more improvements, last week I took the car in for an oil change. As usual, I was overdue. Thought my tire was also looking a little low. OK, lots low, and my Dad was making comments like Are you going to make it home ok on that tire? And we'd been driving all over with it that low for a while. The "Low" one was at 15 pound of pressure, the others at 25; it should've been 35. They rotated my tires, and I went driving up to my friend's house, and I was like, oooh! How nicely I can turn the car now! I didn't realize how slippy slidey my back end was, and how little control I'd had on those squishy low tires.
Then Friday night, the car started making TERRIBLE noises when I'd break. At first I was mad, thinking Jiffy Lube broke my car. I'm talking Darth Vader type noises when I'd break, then it would continue while I started it back up until She worked it out a bit. I was scared to drive it until Eric got it in. Turns out my break pads were worn down (why Jiffy Lube didn't tell me that earlier in the week?) and the connecty things (some technical thing I can't remember Eric told me) was rubbing raw and that was the beastly noise. Apparently there should've been more warning noises but I completely missed them.

So, here I am now. Had a hot Date AND a Mom's Night Out. Got new Glasses. Car fully functioning. Well rested. (Well, mostly well rested, better rested, I'm going to go to bed now and work more on that one)

But I should be a Force to be reckoned with now.


Seestorstinkyface said...

All's I can say is, I hate everyone right now and can't WAIT to go on vacation! Worth remembering (for me anyway): the guilt we may feel over some serious break time from our own family/responsibilites is SO worth being more human later on (see: a better, less stressed mom/partner). For real. I'm reachin' my limit right about now, so it's time for me to say "Igowaynow" until I'm sane again (I almost just spelled "sane" as "sain" - SEE?!?!?!). Seriously.

Kathy said...

15 psi!?! :) I'm glad you got some air in your tires girl!

We've had a few date nights and I would go insane without (well, and work too). :) It's good to get out and take care of yourself so I'm glad you're doing that!

Suellen said...

Watch out for Jiffy Lube! I just took my car into the dealership because it was leaking something (and I had JUST had it in to Jiffy Lube). Apparently they don't change my oil correctly. One proper oil change ad the leaking stopped!

SuperSillyAunt said...

Make sure you take care of that does carry around some very precious cargo (I'm not just talking about the boys either super mommy)!

amypfan said...

Glad the world is looking a little brighter-