Stop and Smell the Roses

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Eric got me 14 beautiful red roses for our anniversary.  And while we were home yesterday, the boys were content to smell them.  

We've been having a rough week.  Christopher's day camp messed up with the paperwork, and we've had to make calls and drive all over town to get things reorganized.  In the mean time, he's been home, and mad, because he'd rather be at camp.  Having him home, with no routine, or with a constant change in his routine.  Keeping him home has been best. Then Eric's grandma passed away yesterday.  She was 82, wonderful mom, grandma, and great-grandma.  She'd broken her hip a couple weeks ago, and was a bit confused, then Wednesday she got really confused so they took her to the hospital, and suddenly within 24 hours, she was gone.  They suspect a UTI or Bladder infection.  But it was Fast.  Too fast.  

Our hearts are heavy, and we're anticipating more crazy schedule and change in routine.  But somehow in the midst of the sadness, were finding comfort in just being together, stopping and smelling the roses.  

Happy Anniversary to Us!

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Happy Anniversary to Us!  

Eric and I celebrated 14 years of marriage yesterday.  It's amazing how some of those years seem to have gone by so fast (the ones since the kids were born) and others passed almost slowly.  It feels like just yesterday we were celebrating the Big 5!   Then the Big 10!  A friend asked yesterday where we were going, what we were doing.  Um, Steak-n-Shake?!  With the insanity of the last two years, time off for ourselves has been rare.   Let alone the opportunity to skip town or something like I hear other people do.  However, out of the sky, a miracle in the form of my mother in law, who offered to watch the boys so Eric and I could go on a date.  So we did.  We went to a movie, he took me to see the Avengers.  (In the middle of the week -MADNESS!)  It was as good as it was hyped up to be.  Then we had dinner afterwards, at Thai Lanna, in Avon.  If you haven't been, Go.  So good.  It was a wonderful date night, and we didn't have to share our food, and didn't have anyone interrupting us.  Dinner and a Movie, on the same night, it had been a while.  But we're Blessed to be able to have support nearby as we try to climb out of this valley in which we've found ourselves.  

It occurs to me, that being married to 14 years is pretty darn good, kind of historic.  So I thought I'd impart a few words of wisdom to help you, maybe learn from our bumps in the road.  June 6th is our anniversary, so here's 6 bits of advice.  I suppose 14 would be more Awesome, but I have been trying to think all day about what I'd want to say, and that much just wasn't coming to me.  

1.  Get with GOD.  I didn't really Know God until I got married.  We moved to California, suddenly I had only Eric and God to communicate with.  We got Close.  I still say I need to get Closer.  But if you don't have that base, that Heavenly Support, for both of you to fall back on, then when you hit the rough spots, who else will stand with you? 

2. Talk to Each Other.  Every Day.  Eric and I have talked to each other, either in person, or on the phone Every Day since we started dating.  Even it was 11:58 when he called from a business trip, or 12:01 while I was working the night ship, because we knew we would be busy all the next day.  We talk every day.  Sometimes there isn't much to say, but you have to keep the lines of communication open. 

3.  Remember the Love.  Talk about what brought you together.  We hadn't done this in a long while, but recently we were asked, WHY did we want to date the other person recently, and it got us talking, and remembering, and it was Good.  Recall that good foundation, that love is what brought you together.  Upon that rock we've built our family, this tower of babel, chock full of Crazy.  And the Crazy can get in the way.  Without the good foundation, the tower falls.  

4. Step Out.  I hear tell of people that go on dates weekly.  That's pretty ambitious, but monthly, we can do that.  It doesn't have to be expensive, but it does need to be just you.  There have been months when we didn't get out alone, and they were rougher than the times where we were able to step out, and act like grownups, and not share our food, or cut it up into little bitty pieces...unless we wanted to. 

5. Park.  When Eric and I got engaged, his Grandpa pulled him aside, and gave him some words of wisdom.  He said, don't forget to Park.  Remember when you're dating, and you'd go "parking" and sit in the car for hours, talking about nothing, maybe smooching some too.  OK, mayb smooching a lot.  We had quite a few of those dates when we were dating.  And Grandpa said,  When you're Married, make sure you go out parking, pretty regularly.  Well, regularly doesn't happen, but the rare occasions that we have remembered to heed this advice, we just feel better about talking, uninterrupted, without worldly distractions.  And the smooching is nice too.  ;)

6. Don't be Afraid to ask for Help.  If it takes a Village to raise a child, don't you think it takes at least two to save a marriage?  Sometimes it takes more.  We're not built to do things alone.  Get that wisdom from others who have been there, or the professionals if you feel the need. If you feel like you're fighting all the time, or roomies, just like strangers in the night, only exchanging glances... that's not how it should be.  Sometimes you need help.  I'm not afraid to say that the last couple years have been rough, on me personally, on our marriage, and I'm seeking Help.  I'm better off for it.  So are my kids.  So is my husband.  

Tuesday's Top Twelve

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Tuesday we thought we'd avoid the crowds and go to the zoo.  I was feeling better, spinally speaking, so we ventured forth, to meet the Julius girls at the zoo.  But Sam had just got a buzz haircut at the zoo, the night before, and somehow overnight, he has transformed into this Boy.  There were moments I couldn't distinguish him from Christopher.  And though I may call him Chris on occasion, I've always known.  But there were some moments looking at the back of his little bald head, where I couldn't tell.  Spooky I tell you.  But just so you know, these are All Sam, because Chris was at Day Camp.

1.  Sam's armed and ready.  Got festive Sunglasses - Will Travel.  Though he has to hold them on, because they are too big.  That doesn't stop him though.

2.  Sam tries to catch the dolphins.  Watching from beneath. 

3.   Now THIS is what I'm talking about.  If I didn't KNOW it was Sam, I'd be confused as to which child this was.   Sam likes giraffes. 

4.  Sam finds the elephants.  I'm telling you, Pure Boy.  

5.  The Cheetahs were up close to the fence, getting a little snick snack.  Once the food was gone, these two sisters were outta there.  But I didn't have my zoom lens, and I was like 3 feet away.  Big Cats. 

6.  Just as we were finishing up with Big Cats, and getting back to Heffalumps (elephants) the Julius girls arrived to add to the fun! 

7.  They had a great idea - Let's ride the Train!  The Train! The Train!  Would you could you on a train?

8.  Otters!  That's right, the river otters were out to play! 

9.  Pretty sure this was the first time I've seen the otters and the gibbons playing at the same time.  Apparently the scoop is they don't play well together, but they were playing, and there was cuteness.  

10.  Nice day for a swim.  And I don't know what that one was snacking on, but it was so cute.  So stereotypically Otter. 

11.  A little bit of dolphin visit for the girls, and for the road. 

12.  There's the dolphin!   I don't usually get decent shots, they move pretty fast, but this one turned out pretty cool. 

Good times at the zoo!  But I wouldn't recommend the first Tuesday of the month, apparently that's some kind of discount day, and the crowds were a bit crazy for my taste.  Kids don't care.  But when Mama goes crazy, everybody goes crazy.

Being Comfy

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Like I said this morning, I had a friend ask how Princess was adjusting.  And I've been experimenting in manual, trying to get good pictures of her.  Let's just say she's making herself at home.

Girlfriend will snuggle up with a pillow if we let her.  And take over the couch.  

Boy, can she be sweet.  

She's kind of hard to resist like this.  

So when I took Christopher to Day Camp this morning, I brought her with us, for the ride.  She behaved swimmingly, even let me step out of the car.  As a reward for all of us, we stopped at Starbucks.  And Prin got her very first Pup Cup full of Whipped Cream.  She was beside herself about it.  Not quite sure how to get her long snoz into that cup to get at it.  Fina was a cup eating pro, guess it comes from many years of cleaning out our cups.  Princess needs more practice.  But she was adorable and had a great time.  

Yes Mommy, I'm ready for my Close-Up! 

HRH

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A friend of mine asked to see some recent photos of Princess, to see how she's adjusting.  She's doing well, she's made herself quite at home.  HRH-Her Royal Highness is queen of all rugs and couches.  She's tried to rule over the beds, but there we draw the line.

Now that she's stopped peeing on the floor all the time, I can say she's adjusting well.  She likes to chew.  Yesterday it was one of the kids dinosaur toys, the day before it was a beanie baby Fish of Christopher's that caused him to lose his mind entirely.  Overall, having her forces them to keep their toys put a r way, because she doesn't distinguish what's hers and what is theirs.  When she does eat something, or pick up a pair of dirty undies or a random sock, she goes dashing through the house, with her ears so far back that she's bald.  When she's bald, she's scared, and she'll pee.  So I try really hard not to yell much more than NO!   That's enough for her.  I don't want to literally scare the pee out of her, I just want her to get it through her thick skull that the kid's toys are not for her.  But she's really, umm, "Not the sharpest knife in the place where you keep knives."  She's sweet though.  And her loving kindness makes up for the things she doesn't understand yet.
And more importantly, she loves the boys .  She's even warming up to Eric, she wouldn't leave him alone, snuggling, sticking her nose in his elbow, licking him, all kinds of love.  He says, I know I wanted her to like me, but not This Much.  And when either child cries, she is Right There.  She gets so upset when Chris loses it.  She's like the PDD-NOS equivalent of a Therapy dog.  When he starts a freak out, she is right in his face, pacing, and it forces him to stop, and calm himself down, so he can calm her down.   That's been an amazing bonus.

A Little Prin Practice

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Just trying to get a little practice on shooting Manual with my camera.  Haven't done so in a Long Time. But yesterday morning, she was laying ever so sweetly on the rug, I thought I could capture her. Alas, she's a moving target, so this is as close as I got.

Back Scootin' Boogie

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I don't know what I did to my spine, but it isn't happy.  And when the spine ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
Near as I can tell, Thursday night after book club, I lay down in bed, and as my spine was settling, I got a rather nasty pop.  This happens sometimes, takes my breath away for a minute, but then I'm fine.  I had a therapist tell me once, Some People just have Loose Joints.  Kind of an epiphany for me.  My body pops out all the time, maybe a shoulder, a vertebrae, something.  And a person like me, with loose joints (not the cool finger popping double jointed ones that was cool when I was young) hurts themselves frequently, for No Good Reason.  Sucks.  But maybe that's why a Chiropractor helps.  He can't fix me permanently, but it helps rid the pain for a while.  Maybe that's why people think chiropractor's are hacks, they don't have loose joints, so it doesn't help them.  It does help me.

However, there was no help for me yesterday, because my chiro doesn't work on Fridays.

So I woke up yesterday morning, and padded my stiff butt downstairs.  I always hurt in the mornings, usually after coffee and a shower, I get my juices flowing, and I can get mobile.  Yesterday though, Eric asked me what I wanted for breakfast.
Coffee was my response.
There's a cup sitting right in front of you.  It was so sweet, he anticipated my need.  But what was wrong with me, that I didn't see it?  Must Need Coffee.
But then after drinking it, I got up from the table.  And I hurt.
Wherein lots of my back pain goes away after the morning stiffness, this did not work itself out.  It gets bad like this sometimes.  But I live with chronic pain, and I cope.  Yesterday was just a bad day.  I realized I don't write about it, I don't complain about it as often as it bugs me.  Some days are ok, some are worse, yesterday was worse. I couldn't bend over to touch my toes, had trouble getting dressed, hurt to the point to tears to pick up Sam.  No good at all.  But my children saved the day.  I had blown up at them for fighting over the tv, because watching tv was all I could let them do.  All I wanted to do was sit and not move, but not moving was hurting too.  So I took the boys outside, and we broke out their scooters.  It was cold, so they didn't last long, me neither thank goodness.

The boys on their scooters.  Eric just put Chris's together this week, so Chris's old one has now become Sam's.  They actually had pretty good instincts on how to ride them.  

 Princess kept me company in my chair, I love her little bat ears, and how she stops to smell the flowers.

 Christopher actually could get some good speed built up, and he came charging at me, stopped just short of hitting me.

They look so sweet together. 

Seeing them be sweet to each other made it worth the trouble of trying to get us all outside.  Blessedly, once again, Chris was a great helper, helping get himself and brother, and Princess all set up to come out and play.  Even though we only were outside for a few minutes, it was good. 

We watched tv most of the morning, except for this break.  At one point Christopher came over to me, and said, Mommy, do you need a break?  Yes I did.  Then I crawled from my seat to the floor, and just lay down, trying to stretch it out, maybe pop back whatever popped out.  No such luck, but I did have a sweetboy come over to me and offer me a magic hug.  Did you know Christopher has magic hugs? I swear, there's something calming about one of his hugs..  Miraculous.  And Healing.   And he gives them freely.
They helped me cope a bit, but lunch was waffles because I didn't have to bend to get them out or put them in the toaster, a sad state of affairs.  Just about the time, I was going to surrender and beg Eric to come home, it was almost naptime.  And I decided to cave and take a muscle relaxer, so that I could sleep.  Blessedly, the boys were quiet, and let me sleep.  I needed it, it helped.  I'm a bit better today, just taking it easy and chilling.