U Ro

My Uncle Ron is dying.  He's my Godfather.  He's never married, so he really just has us.  He's always been quiet, private, kind of geeky, you know, the kind of guy I love.  And now he's in Ohio, he went into the ER last weekend.  This week they learned that he had bile duct cancer, with secondary mets on his liver and lungs.  He is weak, putting on fluid, and too weak to take any of the treatments.  He moved to hospice today.   He's in Ohio and I'm here.  I've decided to travel to Ohio with my Mom tomorrow.   She's been there all week, but she came back today, to get more clothes, oils, and meds.  And we'll go back together tomorrow.   I'm very Thankful to Eric for making this possible.   He may be calling for Reinforcements depending on how long I'm gone.

Uncle Ron as a baby in 1947 with my Opa, my Great-grandfather.  

I think he would be turning 70 this coming December.  

Uncle Ron and Uncle Rick, Thanksgiving 2004

When my Grandfather passed away in March, 2003, my cousin Daniel was 4 months old.  I was 28.

There's some age difference for you!  But how cute are they!  For a guy that never married, and never had kids, he always did remarkably well around them.  Granted, with my three, it takes a special soul not to get overwhelmed with the noise and the crazy.  

But he liked going camping.  Wide open spaces are good for all that noise and crazy.  

Uncle Ron loved to Camp. 

For a while, he'd go twice a year, once down to Greer's Ferry, Arkansas for ManCamp.  There was no hot water... barely holes in the ground for toilets.  Clearly, you can see why I never went.  

So we started FamCamp.  We'd go to a bit more modern a campground, bring the kids, more appropriate for a co-ed sort of crew.   We loved camping before kids, but it got trickier after.  It's been a little harder for us to pull together camping trips.  But when we did, they were fun.  

Much fun was always had by all.  

This was the first year we camped with Christopher.  He was almost 2.  

What a cutie!  His "Unc" showed him how things were done.

Our crew at Fam Camp 2007

Camping trip in 2010

Chris was 4, and Sam was 1.  

They got a Huge Kick out of their Uncs! 

Look how tiny the kids were!  

Eric didn't make that trip.  He was building a house.  

It was fun, but exhausting.   

We got to see my Uncles both at my cousin Robbie's wedding last summer.  

Uncle Bob passed last Halloween.  

Now we're losing Uncle Ron. 

I am Blessed that we did get to go Fam Camping with him last fall. 

Actually it was a year ago this past week, we took a weekend and popped down to Lake Patoka.  

 

I need to go to Ohio.  Mom and I are heading out in the morning.  

Prayers would be appreciated.  

Firsts

It's the first day of a new month, and I have a lot of great ideas for this month.  Last month, I created an Oily Group of friends and we drank water, 1/2 our weight in ounces per day.  Considering the month I had, the fact that I stuck with it for most of the month was huge. I think it's helped my recovery significantly.

Yesterday, I went to the doctor a checkup.  They took a look at my wounds. This is where it gets a little graphic.    Most of my stitching is closed up, dry, a little scabby still in a couple places, but mostly looks good. There's a seam where three points meet on each side, and it wasn't looking good in my mind.  It wasn't bloody or smelly, just moist, and had the potential to worsen.  I've been putting Neosporin on it, and covering it with Chris's old feeding tube gauzies.  (HA!  Handy to have all these supplies around the house.)   And I've been using Essential Oils everywhere else that's sealed up.
The nurse told me it looked ok, that just happens sometimes when the body wants to break down the dissolvable stitches, and can't so much like a splinter it gets distracted trying to push it out, which is counter productive to healing up the wound.  So she gave me this insulation stuff, to put in there and cover with a gauzy.  The insulation stuff gets gooey when wet and kind of seals up the wound.   I am supposed to change that every 24 hours. So I am!  
I probably will not be changing sizes much more at this point.  There is still some swelling, but we're pretty well established.  I can Go Shopping!   I still can't swim or take a hot bath (Darn!) especially while the wounds are open.   But I am excited about the opportunity to buy a cheap crappy bra at Walmart, or hit the summer ending sales on swimwear.  That sounds like a lot of fun.
She also said I could sleep on my side again! That was another biggie.  Because I was out of my happy drugs.  I wanted either the ok to sleep on my side, or New Drugs.  Because I was out of the neurotin, and if I broke out the narcotics, they were only good at keeping me sleeping on my back for 4 hours.   I wondered if it was ok to use my Sleep Essence, my Oily sleep supplement.  She gave me the ok to restart that too!  Hot dog!  

The nurse also said I could sleep with no bra.   

She lied. 

I did not sleep with no bra.  I tried.  I tossed and turned uncomfortably for 2 1/2 hours.   I hadn't taken any drugs, just used oils, and it wasn't quite cutting it.  So I put my bra back on at 2 am, and slept much better after that.  That was helpful. This pic is me in jammies with no bra.   My boobs are not hanging by my belly button, and my nightshirts look downright cute.   I am kind of enjoying putting all my old clothes on  and seeing how they fit.   Still, I didn't sleep well.  I found enough energy (in the form of coffee) to get moving for a big day today though!

Mommy's first big adventure outside the house.  

We went Apple Picking with Jacob's Preschool!  

Jacob's favorite part was picking one and being able to eat it right away.  

He picked one, and would've been perfectly content to go home.  

Jacob hadn't been Apple Picking in a while, since the last time we went with Sam 2 years ago.

And he wasn't an active picker then.  So I had to break him in. 

Yes, I corrupted him. 

I taught him how to climb a tiny tree.  

Though I can't lift him, I can spot him.  So I helped spot him right up into this great gala tree.  

He climbed to where his head was almost a smidge taller than me.  

And he giggled with pride.  

Me and my Big Boy! 

This was our selfie from inside the apple tree. <3

That was Plenty of Adventure for me for a while. 

I sat on a bench while he played, and we shared an apple cider slushie.  

I was a little bummed I didn't pick enough apples to make sauce.   But realistically, I'm still recovering.  I can't do it all.  And Canning would've been too much.  It was enough to just play with a sweetboy on a Beautiful day.  It was in the 70s, it had cooled off enough for us to enjoy the weather.  I think because it wasn't too hot and gross I was able to enjoy myself more.  

Check me out.  

I walked a mile.  And drank 1/2 my weight in water.  Grr! 

And I did so, as a member of the 21st Century, listening to the Hamilton Soundtrack on my phone. 

Do you know Alexander Hamilton? 

It rocks.  

And I broke a sweat.  Sweating is a new experience with my new bosom.  I don't automatically get a heat rash every time I break a sweat.   The feeling was just different.  A little over half way around my scars started to sting, so I knew I was definitely pushing my limits to go all the way around the block to home, for the full mile.  I came home, slathered up in Oils, and then ran out to a PSG meeting, and Book Club.  

Then I got to go to Book Club with the gals, and got my First Pumpkin Spice latte of the season. 

I appreciate my friend A taking this pic of me.  I'm still a little self concious of my bosom.   

But as you can see, I still naturally put my arms in front of my boobs to hide them.  I didn't realize I even did this.   But I do.  I even still do, especially when the kids want a hug.  I gotta protect this region, it's still all pretty tender.  I love hugs, but I have to hug side saddle.  

I can't wait to let my arms go do their thing.  I just want to be a little smaller, and get things all healthy for a more complete picture.  That's why I'll be working harder this month at moving.  But I don't want to over do it. I got the ok to walk, just not jostle, so no running... Yet.   

Time to blog some more.. I think

OK, so the last few days have been quiet.  Jake and I don't do much.  

Princess has taken over my upstairs recovery couch as her own.  That's ok.  

I have just enough strength to do stairs and chill.  At least I have the energy to blog. ;) 

Wednesday my friend Kathleen came over.  

She brought Cuteness to distract us.  The lovely 2 month old Alexis Jane, our friend Bohl's new baby. I got my baby fix, and she was kind enough not to go for my chest, or hurt me.  I appreciated that. 

She makes my uterus flip for another one.  But alas, no.  The Shop is Closed!  

Jacob is best friend with Alexis' big brother John, aka John John.   They played hard.  

And it was good.  He needed that sort of exhaustion.  

However, in the afternoon, after we had been napping, a nasty storm rolled in. 

I had to wake Jacob to take him downstairs.  He was not happy.  

This was the view from the front porch!   

The kids got held up at school, our teachers held on to the kids through the tornado warning alarms and delayed release.   Very smart.  That sky was nasty.  

I thought I'd be all awesome and go out and snap some video.  Instead I got the snot scared out of me, as lightning struck the lot next door.   I nearly dropped the phone and a load in my pants.  Blessedly, neither really occurred.

But I am venturing out.  Not far.  But I am venturing out.  

Pho kin A!

You know I don't usually talk like that.  But in this case, it was warranted.  

My Seestor came down to help take care of me on Friday.  She'd been sick the last week or so, and I had to keep her away too.  She had finally recovered enough to come down and see me.  She started some laundry, did some dishes, and brought sandwich makin's though then decided we needed to go out to lunch.  We decided to try a place called Pho 36, a Vietnamese place out in Avon.  I'd never eaten Vietamese.  And neither had Li.  So clearly we needed to remedy this.   Plus, soup sounded good.  But this is more than just 'soup'.  It's an experience.   We got huge heaping bowls of noodle soup with all kinds of beefy goodness added, and veggies to add to spice and flavor to our desire.  So Yummy.   I can't wait to go back, with Eric. 

Stripping down

I removed my own steristrips today.  They were starting to peel last week, so while Grandma took Jake to Kindermusik (that's way more lifting and bouncing than I'm allowed to do) I opted to shower.  Before I did so, though, I noticed that my strips were starting to peel off.  One fell off in my hand.  And they'd been driving me nuts with the itching, so I just pulled them off.

Are you a Peeler?   In my family, when we'd get sunburned, we'd sit and peel the peels off each other.  It sounds kind of weird.  But when your back  is all itchy and the skin is peeling, it's so comforting to have someone who loves you like a sister who will sit and pull the big flakes off of you.  Anyway, we're pickers and peelers.  And frankly, it's been really difficult for me to be a compliant patient.  I haven't taken any hot baths.  I'm sleeping on my back.  It's taking me a lot of drugs to do so... but at least I'm only taking them at night.   And I haven't even been using my Oils on the open wounds, just everywhere else.

See?!  Compliance.

Meanwhile, here's what I've been doing.  

Not much. 

This past weekend, my mother in law took the boys Friday night into Saturday night.  Eric was gone overnight to Serve on Team for the Via de Cristo.   Good for him!   But the timing was a little iffy.   I was thankful Mom took the boys for a slumber party.  Friday night was Quiet.  But not any more unusual than any other evening.  Eric usually takes the boys upstairs... and I don't see them.  The goodbyes were just earlier.  

I got caught up on my temperature blanket.  Yippee.  I know how to get crazy.   

A quiet cup of coffee just for me. 

The weirdest thing was Saturday morning.  I slept until 9:30!  

And I'd gone to bed about 11.  That's like almost 11 hours of sleep for me.  Drugged.  So pretty uninterrupted.  And no one hopped into bed.  I can't remember the last time I slept until I naturally woke up in my own home, alone.  It was weird.  But nice.  I see why Eric does productive things when I take the boys out of town.  The mornings in a big quiet house are disconcerting.   There was no one around to bug me while I had my coffee.  It was nice and weird all at the same time.   I didn't make a proper breakfast, Eric usually makes it for me.  But he had apparently programmed the coffee maker before leaving yesterday, because the pot was still warm when I got home.  How sweet! 

But it didn't stay that way for long.  The boys got home just in time for naptime.  I was grateful that Chris did his flush, Sam hung out quietly in the basement.  And Jake napped with me.  Grandma and Aunt Teri had Worn Him Out!    

Then Eric came home with just enough time to spare to grab Sam and head to my Dad's house.  
They had been gifted with the opportunity to go to a Colts Game with my Dad and Stepmom.   It was Sam's first Game.  He did Wonderfully, and had a great time!
Jake, Chris, and I stayed home, drove thru McDonald's for Cheeseburgers, and then ate in front of watching The Last Unicorn.   "Shmendrick is With You!"

My big accomplishment for today... I drove with Jacob. 

I wanted an Arby's Brown Sugar Bacon BLT.  So I drove and got one.  

That was an accomplishment.  And that was enough.  

Still quietly recovering.... slowly, but surely. 

   

Post op 1 week!

It's been a Week since my surgery.  I've been pretty gorked out for most of that time.  I consider my husband a lucky man, since I only made him take two days off.  I've been also Blessed this week that people have been bringing us food.   Last night, a friend forgot, and he turned around and ordered pizza, then brought us the pulled pork he promised last night, again for tonight.  We'll be good for a few days now.  I'm so Thankful that people have been bringing food.  Although I've gotten a bit further away from Eric having to do everything for me, he still needs to be my Gopher sometimes.  He writes down all the times and dosages for my drugs, though I've been getting away from taking the hearty narcotics by day.  The neurotin seems to be enough.  It makes me sleep and relaxed, but not as stupid.  I can be home with Jacob that way.  My Dad brought Jacob home from school today for me.  So I just rested.  I'd planned on napping. But I also missed having an afternoon nap yesterday by napping too long in the morning.  It's pretty exciting that although I just rested, I didn't sleep, so that I could nap with Jacob.   He and I nap good.  If napping was an Olympic sport, I'd be a medalist.

 Princess was by my side.  

Isn't she the sweetest.   

She is such a good girl.  She steals my pillow that is supposed to be supporting my arm. 

I don't mind so much.  

She's ready for her Close-up!

Prinny has been doing a great job of keeping me company, and just staying close. 

She's a good comfort, and a cuddlebug. 

OK, since it's been a week, here's something for all four of you following to get a big kick out of:

Before/After shots

Yes, I wore the same clothing, for a better comparison.

OK, I gotta say, I am pretty impressed at how perky I am now.  I love that my bosom is now up above my elbows, that's a new development.  Ha ha!  I could make boob jokes all day! 

Day 6 - An Itchy Mess

I am Itchy!

I'm reminded of that little old lady from The Neverending Story, "It's got to hurt if it's to heal!"  The skin on my chest is very itchy.  I slathered the whole thing down in Lavender this afternoon! I figure it's a good thing to be annoyingly itchy.  I'm not sure if it's the drugs or the healing.  But I have to be very careful when I scratch.  I don't want to hurt the skin or rip a stitch, so I try to scratch with the tabs of my fingers.  But sometimes in my stupor, I forget.  Forgetting hurts.   But so far I haven't really hurt myself.
I also napped wrong.  I Chose Unwisely. 1 nap a day is better.  I feel like a baby or a toddler transitioning from a 2 nap day to 1.   And I need some help with the organization and arrangement of naps.  Ugh.  I try to hold out until afternoon.  Most of this weekend, I napped twice a day.  But now on my own, I am trying to hold out until Jacob is ready to nap too.  
This morning, I slept from 10:30-1 while my Mother in Law took Jacob for a while and returned him exhausted after lunch. Only, I was wide awake.  There was no second nap for me... even though I waited until now to put Jake down.  He fell asleep.  I watched his beautiful eyelids get droopy.  I closed mine too.  But there was no sleeping.  Jacob is so sweet to watch sleep.  He gets all warm, and his hair curls, and I know my days are numbered while he sleeps with me as well as when he's going to nap at all.  He's growing too fast.

My chest looks weird.  Frankenboobs.  That's the nickname I've given myself.  My sister says that Frankenboobs is my character in The Nightmare before Breastmas.

The edges of the Steri-strips are curling.  This is under my arm.    

I debated posting this pic and my nickname.  But I was in a challenge where we were to take a reflection picture.  So I took this, in reflection. It's the only way I can see what's going on, is to use a mirror.   There's a lot of bruising, so I'm using Melrose as well as Helichrysum and Panaway.  It really looks icky, but not in an infected way, but weird.  It's not sexy, but I can see how it will heal.  And the healing is good.    

Day 5 - My first post op checkup

I wore a seat belt today.

And that belt fell between my boobs naturally just as God intended.

Who knew?!

That was just one of the little things that I learned today. 

I like being able to see my toes when I walk. <3

I'm sorry it's not a very good picture, but I was barely holding it together as we drove.  It was my first time out of the house.   My father in law was kind enough to drive Jake and I up to Carmel for the appointment.  Jake slept all the way.  I did not.  In fact, highway riding is rather nauseating.  Don't think I'll do that again voluntarily for another while.  I prefer to ride like a little old lady... slow.  My goal is to drive myself somewhere around Brownsburg sometime by the end of the week.  But this was not that day.  

I also learned that going from Two naps to No naps is no good.  I took no pain relievers today.  I did that so that I would be coherent enough to remember what the doctor told me.  I remember very little of what she said last Thursday.  She asked me if I was showering entirely with my back facing the stream in the shower?  Whoops.   Was I using a hair dryer to dry the steristrips after showering?  Whoops.  Nope.  I've been using Lavender soap on my shoulders and rinsing so things get cleaned all the way down.  Then patting dry with a clean towel, boobs first for no contamination.  No rubbing, just a pat dry, then air dry before I start padding up.  I've been using my old Nursing Pads (man, I knew I saved them for some reason!) as nip covers.  Handy that!
Today I slathered up in PanAway around my stitchy places this morning.  I had a friend come over and bring my coffee, and she stayed and chatted a while.  Then Stacey came to help out with the house, and we chatted a while.  Then my mother in law came, bringing Jacob home from Preschool, and guess what, we chatted a while.  I got no morning nap.  I used my morning rest time, chatting with friends and loved ones.  I liked being able to do so.  And with special thanks to E and Starbucks, I was having a fine time doing so.   But then about 1 I started to crash.  But by then it was too late.  My appointment was at 2, there was no nap in my future.  So I drank some Ningxia Red, and geared up to go see the doctor.  But I missed our afternoon nap too.   And that was too much.  I was exhausted.   I am feeling much better, striving to push to my limits every day so I don't regress much.  But in this case, cutting all naps was a mistake.   At least I got by with Oils.
I have been using my Oils on my chest, but not directly on the wounds.  And the doctor said they all look good.  I liked that!  When I went to the doctor, the nurse removed some stitches and a large glob of glue taking a layer of skin with it.  That wasn't fun.  They had removed the bolster gauze pad holding my newly transplanted nipple, or nip guard as I was referring to it, and put some kind of relective gauze with bacitracin on me.  She said it was like the inside of a bandaid. But it wasn't I think the worst thing was that whatever kind of bandage they put on me, started itching.  By this evening, I felt so white trash, itching and wanting just desperately to scratch.  I touched gently with fingertips just to get a bit of relief, but not a full on scratch.  I didn't want to undo all the healing.  They removed a couple stitches under my arms, which actually are giving me a bit of relief with regard to contact with the bra.  But I'm still So Itchy.  I know it's good and all to get a bit itchy, means that the nerves are starting to heal.  And healing is Good.  But I hate being itchy.  I've been putting on Lavender and Melrose around the areas today, careful not to mess with the stitches or steristrips to combat that a bit.  And I'm really trying to be a compliant patient.  But I couldn't take anymore, and ended up peeling off that bandaid tonight, there were red squares where it was on my chest.  Whatever they put on me, I reacted to it.  Forget that!  So  I wound up slathering up a pair of Chris's old feeding tube gauzies in neosporin and using them instead.   Part of me would much rather use some of my Oily compounds, like my Cuts and Butts, or Rose Ointment.  But I want to be compliant.   So I'll use my Young Living stuff once the wounds are sealed and closed.  But I can use them around the wounds in the mean time.  At least Lavender helps with the itching, for now.  It just relaxes and refreshes me, so I have to watch how much I put on near bedtime or naptime.  For bedtime tonight, it's Melrose and Helichrysum.  Man, I love that Helichrysum.  My sample is getting low, but my new bottle should arrive on Thursday.  Come on Thursday!
Meanwhile I still am not firing on all thrusters, when I found out this evening that my plans had unexpectedly changed, I burst into tears.  Perhaps exhausted, plus a tad hormonal isn't working in my favor.  Blessedly, I had a friend stop by with food, more perfect timing, and my husband is wonderful, and supportive, and offered to bail me out if we needed him to, luckily, I don't think I will need him to do so.  I'm not quite comfortable driving, nor being home alone all day yet with Jacob.  Jake has way too much energy for this slow little old lady.
We are Blessed to have lots of Friends and Fam who have offered to help us out, and like today, they contact me at the Perfect Time, so that even in my time of tears, I know how much we are Loved.  Thank you All!