Sunday, November 17, 2013

Making up for lost time

It's a good morning for Blogging, and I'm going to finally catch up today.  Who am I kidding? Well, at least get a start. My children keep growing, stuff keeps happening, and I haven't felt much like documenting it.  There's just something about this month.  It's been rough. November reminds me of my Aunt Debbie.  Her birthday was at the end of November.  We would go up and visit over the holidays.  For a few years, we'd go up to Michigan for Christmas.  But once we started having a more busy life here in Indy at Christmas (about the time I got married) we had to stay closer to home, so we'd go up at Thanksgiving.
I'm depressed.  I'm finding it hard to blog. I miss my aunt. I miss being with my family at the holidays.  I miss the fun we had.  I know it's mostly my decision to go north anymore, but how I miss it.  I've been in a funk.  I miss my family.  I said that already.  Well, I do.  How much I would love them to sit down and enjoy my boys.  They are a lot of fun.  They keep growing so fast.  One of the things that got me this week was when I started moving out the 3-6 month clothes from Jake's drawers.  I pulled out this outfit, and got very sad.


Aunt Debbie gave this to me when Chris was born.  They had come down for New Year's with my Mom, and they came down to our place on New Year's eve.  They got to meet Chris, love on him.  These were the early days when we couldn't keep a bag on him, so we wrapped him in blankets, he was so tiny, he fit in them just fine.  I was so glad they came to visit us because who knew when we were going to get out again, to go somewhere besides the doctor's office.  We didn't get out much at all that first 6 months.  And as it turned out, this visit was extra special, it was the last time they came to town.  She passed away at the beginning of September from cancer.  Ovarian.  She'd beat it once, but when it came back, it returned with a vengence.  But she got to meet Chris, and vice versa, and I'm so Thankful for that.  


I remember picking up the outfit she gave us, out of the box and thinking, this is Huge!  There's no way he'll ever fit into it.  He did.  But it was big on him, it is so warm, that he didn't wear it for long, it was summertime when Chris was in 3-6 month clothes.  Sam didn't wear it at all.  But Jake wore it a couple times, it was very warm on him, perfect for those freak cold fall days.  But now it was time for me to box it up.  And it makes me sad.  Sad that this is my last baby.  Sad he never got to meet Aunt Debbie.  Sad that he just keeps growing.  He won't be my baby boy for much longer.  


I suppose if I was really bad off depressed, I wouldn't feel like boxing up things.  But at least I'm doing that.  It just makes me sad to do so.  

1 comments:

Amy Huang said...

I'm so sorry, but I understand. I have a few outfits like that, that I'm planning on putting in a shadow box with pictures .