Tuesday, March 31, 2009

One Day at a Time

I hope you appreciate all the adorable cuteness posted here.

Discovering lips

Coming home!

Baby Smiles

It's taken me 3 days to get to add more pictures. We got home Sunday, and I didn't have the strength to pull pictures off the card. Yesterday, I tried to use Eric's laptop, but the buttons are so tiny, I did something, and thought I LOST the picture I was trying to post. And when I looked and the picture had disappeared, shortly after I had deleted an error, I thought I deleted it, and I called for Eric, who was playing in the Big Boy Room with Chris. I got up and went to change Sam's diaper, and he'd blown through his outfit, so I change him into this adorable little Classic Pooh number, but I couldn't get the zipper to zip up.

I burst into tears.

This of course, hurt like hell, and I ended up collapsing over Sam's little body on the changing table. Eric is yelling from the other room that he can't undo a deleted item and that if I did delete it, it's GONE. I'm crying. Poor Sam is crying. This would be one of those hormonal moments that peppers postnatal life.
Eric came to relieve me, and when he couldn't get the zipper to work either, for some reason I felt better. Better being Not Crazy.
Sam and I moved to nurse on the couch, while Daddy found some Undeleting Software, and after a couple hours of computer magic he found the picture, which somehow I had just moved, NOT deleted. It was rough. I opted to not bother with blogging or picture posting for a while.

This was the troublesome picture. Just as troublesome to post it as the hat was to poor Samuel.

This afternoon however, Samuel fell asleep in the swing, he's on his second hour now, of his second 2 hour nap of the day, the first I napped along with him, and now I got motivated enough to do pictures. However, thinking I'm brilliant, I decide to venture downstairs and not even go near Eric's computer. Well, first I discover, I'd let my meds run out, and retook them before I headed downstairs. That hurt. I got down here and quickly realized I was going to be here for a WHILE, until I get the strength to go back upstairs again. Hope Sam sleeps a while. I get this Burning on my incision. All I can cry out, is My Scar Hurts. Eric says, oh are you having a Harry Potter Moment?
I finally get downstairs to my computer, and all my lovely photos, and the computer is broken. It's not working. I can feel the tears coming, I'm going to lose it again. I call out to Eric, Please come down, in a nearly crying vibrato. He does. I say, I know I'm a woman on the edge, and I'm sure it's something really easy, but the computer isn't working.
Yes, dear. It's off.

He turned it on, and I burst into tears anyway.

Then it was taking forever to load up, and I called him down again, he said apparently it decided it was going to do some updates. Well, that clenched it, I was Not going to be doing pictures today either. So, I got up and turned around and was halfway across the room before my pain receptors realized what I'd done. Then I screamed and cried, freaking out Chris (who'd come downstairs to "keep me company" which really meant he was reorganizing the DVDs and VHS tapes) and Daddy came running. I tried to go up the stairs, but couldn't lift my left leg, and ended up collapsing in a heap at the bottom of the stairs. Chris asked me if I was "be a tat?" (be a cat) because I collapsed right in front of the cat door. No. I told him my tummy hurt. He asked if I needed a hug. Yes.
And ironically, his hug did make me feel better.
By the time I got back on my feet, Eric pointed out that the computer had rebooted and was on, ready for use. So, here I am plopped in front of it.
And I'm not moving, until a. my drugs kick in, or b. I get all the pictures posted I want or maybe c. Samuel wakes up.


Joe said...

The cuteness of your boys is overwhelming. Chris and Samuel, that is. Sorry Eric...

Kathy said...

so cute!!

SuperSillyAunt said...

Awww! I wish I was there to give you a hug just like Christopher did! That hat picture is just too cute! Hang in there Mamma...take care of yourself.

Carrie said...

Awww... it will get better! I remember bursting into tears the night we got Brett home. I love Sam. He's so sweet... and I can see Chris in him!

Krysten said...

Hang in there sister! I still have random bursts of crying (I did before pregnancy too, so no HUGE surprise), but a little bit of crying is good for you! Just stayed focused on your two beautiful boys and you'll make it through. On my worst days at school I sit down and go through all my pictures of Sadie on my computer. I always end up with lower blood pressure and a smile on my face!

Jenibug7 said...

You are in my prayers, friend! This is TOTALLY NORMAL! After all, they say each child costs you half your brain, so we are functioning on nothing at this point, right?! AND YOU ARE ON DRUGS!!!! =)
I remember the hardest part of having Elena was trying to train my brain to think about 2 different children, their whereabouts, their needs, etc. at the same time. It was hugely overwhelming. In trying to remember to feed Elena every 3 hours, I would realize it was noon and Elias hadn't had breakfast. But, really, that only lasted about 3 weeks. And now, when I am somewhere with only one of them, it is hard to remember that I don't need to worry about the other one.

Suellen said...

Love you. Samuel is adorable. I can't believe that you are even attempting stairs! I'm pretty sure I laid on the couch the ENTIRE first week I was home. You are a braver woman than I! (Oh and I remember that Alicia and I had both burst into tears over bottles within 30 minutes of being home and someone rescued us - for which I am eternally grateful.)