Thursday, April 2, 2009

It Has to Hurt if it's to Heal

What movie is that line from?
Don't tell Li.

I hurt.

The good news is this is all perfectly normal. Hooray?

We ventured forth for the first time yesterday, packing all 4 of us all into Eric's car, because the Windstar is in to get fixed. (I figured that this week would be a good time to get it fixed since I certainly won't be driving it, so we're using Eric's car, which thrills Chris to no end.) It was a beautiful sunny day, and something just seemed all right with the world having all 4 of us piled in the car as we jaunted around town. Life is good.If I hadn't felt so crappy I would've wanteed to do something familial and spring breaky like go to the park, have a picnic, or hit the zoo.

Anyway, back to my appointment, the report is I'm doing fabulous. My incision looks great. There's a really ugly bruise on my flab where they held my belly back while pulling Sam out, but even it is getting some yellow healing to it.
I mentioned that I was having bad burning pains on the left side of my scar, she said that was normal. I told her that it hurt to yell, and she said that was normal too. I told the folowing story:
I am trying not to take lots of pain meds so as to not render myself stupid, and so I can do things like carry the baby across the room, or remember my middle name. Anyway, Monday, I had done a decent job of only taking 1 vicoden at a time, and as long as I took it every 4 hours, I was doing ok. However, Monday night Sam slept for 3 hours, and I lapsed on my drug time, so that when I woke up my drugs had worn off, and I was NOT COMFORTABLE. So I bit the bullet, and took 2 vicoden, and went to nurse the baby. Well, it was one of those sessions where he drank for a while, and fell asleep mid-nurse, and woke up again 10 minutes later, wanting more. We've drawn the line at not nursing him more than once an hour, so Eric was bouncing and loving and distracting him so as to give me a bit of a break to heal a bit before being attacked again. Suddenly, I started to feel weird. Weird like passy-outy weird, I got waves of hot flashes, and weakness, a bit of queasiness. I had to have Eric get me a cool washcloth, I really thought I was going to pass out. I was worried, did I overdose? I only took 2 pills right? I'm supposed to take ibuprofen horse pills every 8 hours, and the vicoden every 4. What if I grabbed 2 of the 800 mg ibuprofens instead of the vicoden? Oh the number that would do on my stomach and liver. My mind was a fog, I was so sleep deprived, I began to doubt if I'd taken the right stuff at all, what if I OD'd on something else. It was scary. I debated calling for help, but who could I call, and what would they do. I was tired, I mean couldn't-get-up-off-the-couch Tired. But I started to get scared, what if I fell asleep and stopped breathing? Weird-the places your mind goes when you're sleep deprived and drugged. Eric was searching on the internet for symptoms, and he really thought that I was just Really Tired, not ODing, but just the drugs were Really doing their thing. My boy is so good, he stayed up for the next hour watching Sam and I sleep at 3 in the morning, sacrificing sleep for himself. I asked him to watch me, and he did. Yeah, I was fine, I was just tired. But the whole thing scared me enough I didn't want to take 2 vicoden pills again, and we started a written log of what I was taking and when (which was just smart).
But just taking 1 vicoden wasn't cutting the mustard for when I tried to be productive. Like showering. I could Take the shower, but when I stepped up out of the tub, shooting pains ripped through my abdomen, and I can barely lift my left leg.
Anyway I told the doctor this, and she asked if I wanted to switch to something else. Yeah. So she switched me to Darvocet. Just so happens I have that at home, take that for my back when it spasms, and I know I can take 2 of those without ill effects. (Funny how the vicoden didn't effect me like that in the hospital though...) So I'm on 1 Darvy and though I still have spasmy pains I'm doing better. It keeps the dysfunctional pain at bay.
The doctor also told me that "just because I feel like I can do something doesn't mean I should do it."
Yes Ma.
So, I'm doing ok, recovering slowly, but hurting.
Well, enough blogging for now, the baby awakes.

Oh, and I have a sore throat too.


amypfan said...

Yay for normal, I guess?

Carrie said...

It will get better. It's got to!

Jenibug7 said...

i heart darvocet. =)

Li said...

heehee, I won't tell, I promise. I hope you feel better and maybe I can come over next week for a bit with some food for you guys.
P.S. my verification word is "chlin" which is what you're supposed to be doing... :) Love you.

From Heels To Wheels said...

That line is from "The Neverending Story"... my absolute favorite movie as a kid, and a quote I have lived by for a very long time.