Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Whistling in the Dark

Last night was a bad one. I thought I was healthy enough to go for a run. Apparently, I get stupid when I get sick. I haven't felt that bad, really, then again, I hadn't left the house much. I just didn't have much of a voice. I put in my CD with Defying Gravity, and I couldn't sing along, I just croaked and whispered. But who cares if I can sing or not for running?! So, I left the house ready to run with the girls. Found a full house when I arrived.

So we took off running. It was the beginning of our 5th week, so we the plan was to warm up with our 5 minute walk, then a 5 minute run and 3 minute walk until we hit the mileage. We tried a new path, but I wasn't really a fan. We ended up going right down Main Street. Lots more people and cars than I'm used to. Chewing on it a while I realized I don't like the crowds, I don't like people seeing me run. I prefer the quiet of running at night. I like the dimly lit roads, not the bright lights of cars going by.

Anyway, after going about 2 miles my hip started to twitch. Painful twitching. Then it stopped doing what I wanted to. The entire hip went into spasm, it felt like a hip charlie horse, I put my hand on my hip and I could feel all the strands, cells all twitching in random rhythm. I couldn't run anymore. I couldn't keep up. I called out the girls names, but I'd been last in the line for a while, and really falling behind, I ate their dust. And I called. And they couldn't hear me. At all. I yelled, but it only came out a squawk. I whistled. I screamed but only a mere whisper.

It was bad. I kept walking thinking, we've come 2 miles, I'm going to have to get back, and I don't know which way they were planning on going. So I turned around, and commenced walking, no gimping my way home, back to my car. I could hear them ask where I'd gone, but they couldn't see me, or hear me. They turned back around, and came my way. By the time they arrived, I was a hot crying mess.

I tried to pull it together, failed miserably, and ended up sitting in the grass trying to stretch the muscles out. Helped a little, stopped the spasm, but not the ache. My head was swimming. I hurt. The gals all stopped and prayed over me.
That always helps. Even when it doesn't stop the pain, it stops the panic, and I can move on.
I got up. Not easily. Needed help. But then I stretched the hip out a little more and I could get it moving. We limped back. I told them to walk on, but they wouldn't. Now they wouldn't let me go alone. It was very sweet.

The big (fast) group made the run home, and came back for me in a car after I'd gimped about 3/4 mile. They took me to mine. Not moving in her car's seat felt so wonderful, the tears just ran down my face, uncontrolled by me. I apparently had been holding them in on the walk, and they just flowed. Karin said I was strong. Here's what I say about that. Being Strong Sucks.

I was so sore. I came home, took good drugs and cuddled up with an ice pack. The next day I spent most of the day just getting by, walking to our various meetings very slowly. Making Sam go on his own steam.

I should've known better. I shouldn't have run if I was still not feeling 100%. Eric and my friends said that running helps when you're sick, flushes out the goo. Not in this case. My appetite was off kilter all day, I didn't want dinner. That should've been my sign. I'm not saying I'm giving up running all together. Jury still out as to whether or not I'm built for running, my plan is to keep trying. I'm guessing maybe my chemistry was all out of whack, and I still had a head full of snot from the sinus infection. But still don't want to overdo it, maybe wait until I don't get tired after a shower, or hungry for dinner, or not dizzy anymore. You know, being sick (and strong) sucks. I need to be careful, listen better; if my body says not to overdo it, I should listen. One of these days I'll listen. I hope.


Anonymous said...

Cathy - don't you dare give up! All runners have had terrible crappy runs because we tried to go back too soon after being sick. However, sometimes getting out for a run is what finally cures me, so I agree with Eric! Take care of yourself and rest up before next time. But please make sure there is a next time. And stick with that awesome group of girls - they are just what you need! Hugs...